


Wolfstar Drabbles - The Christmas Collection

by Engie_Ivy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Coffee Shops, Established Relationship, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, James Potter is a Good Friend, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Meet-Cute, Mutual Pining, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:07:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27875065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Engie_Ivy/pseuds/Engie_Ivy
Summary: Seasonal Wolfstar oneshots!Mostly fluffy get-togethers, with various December and Christmas themes.See the first chapter for an overview of the chapter summaries.Themes are thanks to Remus-John-Lupin's Wolfstar Holiday Prompt list.Hope you'll enjoy!
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 56
Kudos: 222





	1. Contents

**Author's Note:**

> I've done my waiting!  
> Time for some December seasonal fluff.

Chapter 2:

Everyone tries find Remus a date, and when Sirius gets involved, he finally snaps.

**Fluff. Get-Together. Misunderstandings.**

3686 words.

Chapter 3:

The sleigh crashes. Remus is fine, Sirius is worried, Peter is fed up.

**Fluff. Humour. Get-Together.**

1367 words.

Chapter 4:

Remus’ major life problems consist of kissing cute guys under the mistletoe.

**Fluff. Get-Together. Love Confessions.**

1139 words.

Chapter 5:

Christmas Coffee Shop fluff!

**Fluff. Coffee Shop AU. Meet-Cute.**

2553 words.

Chapter 6:

Walburga Black wants Hope Lupin's son to leave her son alone. She disagrees.

**Fluff. Get-Together. Love-Confessions.**

2337 words.

Chapter 7:

Remus has to go back to the flat as his flight has been delayed, and finds out he severely underestimated how much him leaving affects Sirius.

**Mutual Pining. Angst With a Happy Ending. Get-Together.**

1557 words.

Chapter 8:

Remus is afraid Christmas will never be the same once they leave Hogwarts. It won't, but that's actually not a bad thing.

**Fluff. From Friends to Established Relationship.**

934 words.

Chapter 9:

I saw Moony kissing Santa Claus...

**Fluff. Humour. Established Relationship.**

1251 words.

Chapter 10:

Being stuck in his hometown for Christmas and slowly falling back in love with his ex, Remus Lupin has no time for that shite.

**Break-Up and Make-Up. Humour.**

2085 words.

Chapter 11:

Lily and James want a romantic Christmas and find out they're not the only ones.

**Fluff. Love Confessions.**

1142 words.

Chapter 12:

Sirius doesn't seem to realise how messed up his memories of Christmas with his family are. Remus wants to give him a new family, but not as a brother.

**Angst With a Happy Ending. Get-Together.**

1698 words.

Chapter 13:

A lot has happened during the war, too much, and Remus hasn't spoken to Sirius in years. They run into each other at a New Year’s Eve party.

**Break-Up and Make-Up. Angst With a Happy Ending.**

1742 words.


	2. Snowflakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone tries find Remus a date, and when Sirius gets involved, he finally snaps.

> **Baby, you'll freeze out there**
> 
> _Baby, it's cold outside - Frank Loesser_

Remus has to admit… it was mostly his own fault.

It had been a cold and dark Tuesday evening in December. James and Sirius were off to Quidditch practice, and Peter and Remus had been sitting in the common room with their classmates. There was only one thing on everyone’s mind: the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend. 

Each year, in December, there’s one weekend in which the students are allowed to go to Hogsmeade, and the village will be covered in snow. The picturesque cottages, the shops with their nostalgic Christmas decorations, the enchanted candles hanging from the trees and the smell of gingerbread and mulled wine, in combination with the frozen landscape and the crisp layer of snow; it makes for the most romantic weekend of the year. It’s the perfect occasion for a date. Every couple, every soon-to-be-couple, every wannabe-couple, anyone who fancies someone, or anyone who just wants to go on a date, the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend is _the_ moment. 

Now, the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend is coming up this very weekend. James has his every dream he’s ever had since he was thirteen come true, and will be walking to towards Hogsmeade hand-in-hand with Lily Evans. Marlene and Dorcas actually became a couple on Hogsmeade Snow Weekend last year, and will use the occasion to celebrate their one-year anniversary. Frank and Alice are going together for the third time in a row, and already have terribly cheesy couple’s traditions, like Frank buying Alice hart-shaped gingerbread every year, and making sure they kiss underneath every mistletoe, that everyone in their group is secretly very jealous of. More exciting developments are that Gideon asked Emmeline and Fabian asked Benjy out on a date, and everyone’s curious to see what will come of that. 

That Tuesday evening, Mary was draped over the sofa, twirling her hair and loudly lamenting over who she should go with. That Ravenclaw Head Boy? That really cute sixth-year Gryffindor? Or maybe that sweet Hufflepuf boy who always buys her chocolate? 

Remus, and he suspects most of the group, was only half listening, staring off into the fireplace. When he spoke, it was really without thinking. 

“I wish I could go on a date with someone.” 

Mary immediately sat up, and the moment Remus saw the glint in her eyes, he knew he’d made a huge mistake. 

From that moment on, Mary made it her life’s mission to get Remus a date for Hogsmeade Snow Weekend. 

She corners Remus the next day in the library. 

“Edgar Bones.” 

“I’m sorry?” 

“He’s smart, kinda cute, and hasn’t got a date yet.” 

“The Ravenclaw prefect? I scolded him a couple of times for slacking on his rounds. I don’t think he likes me very much.” 

“Leonore Figg.” 

“I thought she had a crush on Caradoc Dearborn?” 

“Well, I have good information Dearborn asked Hestia Jones, and she’s inclined to accept. All the more motivated Figg will be to not be dateless!” 

“So as a consolation she might lower her standards to me? How romantic, MacDonald.” 

“Evan Rosier.” 

“Are you kidding me?” 

“What’s wrong with him?” 

“He’s a Slytherin!” 

“Yes, and there’re hardly any openly gay guys in Slytherin, so I’m sure he’ll be willing to date you!” 

“Geez, thanks, MacDonald.” 

“Oh, shut it, Lupin. You know I don’t mean it like that.” 

“Well, I can’t date a bloody Slytherin. James and Sirius will have me sleep in the common room for the rest of the year.” 

Remus had expected, or maybe more hoped, that after a few tries Mary would give up. But Mary MacDonald is anything if not persistent. 

What’s worse, Mary’s enthusiasm is spreading, and soon it becomes a sort of competition among the entire group: who can manage to set Remus up with a date for Hogsmeade Snow Weekend? 

With more and more people getting involved, Remus’ days are suddenly filled with constant match-making attempts. 

“Oi, Lupin!” 

“Wotcher, Gideon.” 

“Watcha doin’ for the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend?” 

“Nothing much, why?” 

“Well, I know Thompson from the Quidditch team isn’t going with anyone yet, I thought maybe you’d like to go with him?” 

“Ehm, I’m sure he’s a nice bloke, but I think I’d prefer someone who can… well, hold a conversation?” 

“Yeah, I suppose he has taken one too many Bludgers to the head…” 

“Lupin!” 

“Vance?” 

“So what are you planning to do about Hogsmeade Snow Weekend?” 

“Well, I-” 

“’Cause I have it on good authority that Sara Davies has been asked by Paul Blakers, which of course means that Mildred Millward is definitely going to ask Richard Fletcher, who’ll most likely say yes, as we all know he has little chance with Mary after the whole reindeer-incident of last year. But obviously there’s no way Jennie Johnson is gonna sit by and let Millward and Fletcher go together, and if she indeed manages to successfully convince Robin Clearwater to go with Fletcher instead, that means Aubrey DuBois will have no one to go with!” 

“I… What?” 

“Well, what do you think?” 

“I’m sorry, Emmeline. You lost me after ‘reindeer-incident’.” 

“Remus, are you interested in going on a date for the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend?” 

“Fabian, you really don’t have to…” 

“My ex-boyfriend, who’s a rather fit bloke, even I have to admit, would definitely be interested!” 

“The same ex-boyfriend who once threw a plate at your head at breakfast because you didn’t know the difference between a pancake and a crumpet?” 

“You know what? Never mind.” 

“Lupin! Fancy seeing you here!” 

“In the classroom of the class we take together, McKinnon? Yeah, who’d have thought.” 

“So, do you have plans for the big date weekend yet? Because my cousin-” 

“No.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. He’s kind of a dick.” 

With each option Remus turns down, he becomes increasingly worried that his friends will think he’s too picky, or ungrateful. Truth be told, some of the options aren’t even half-bad. Perhaps it would be easiest for Remus to just say yes to one of them. 

It’s just that, he doesn’t want to go on a date with someone as in just anyone. He wants to go on a date with someone as in one particular someone. And that someone is way out of his league and very much not interested in going to the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend with him. At least, not in terms of a date. 

After a while, even Peter, Peter his fellow Marauder, joins the competition. Or well, attempts to. 

“Wormtail?” 

“Yes, Moony?” 

“Why, in Merlin’s name, would I want to go on a date with a _third-year_?” 

“I don’t know! He heard the rumor that you were looking for one, and apparently he kind of has a crush on you, so he begged me to ask.” 

“And that seemed like a good idea to you?” 

“I also wanted to help!” 

“Wormtail?” 

“Yes, Moony?” 

“Don’t ever try to help ever again.” 

“Yes, Moony.” 

Going on a date during the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend is an event that every Hogwarts student should experience at least once. It’s one of the things people will later remember from their time at Hogwarts. Remus should just allow himself to have that experience, and he realizes that his pathetic crush is only more reason to just let his classmates set him up with someone, to try and get over it. Just a casual date, have a good time, don’t think too much about it. 

The problem is, when he does think about the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend, thinks of walking hand-in-hand through the snow-covered lane, drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream while sharing a slice of pumpkin pie, watching the floating candles together and seeing the flickering lights reflect in his bright, grey eyes... well, that! That’s the problem. His treacherous mind can only picture doing those things with _him_. If he thinks about doing that stuff with anyone else, his stomach doesn’t flutter with excitement, his stomach clenches and frankly, he just feels upset. 

To make matters worse, the full moon hasn’t been that long ago, and Remus has been so stressed about the tons of schoolwork he’s expected to finish before the end of the year, that he hasn’t really had a chance to catch up on his sleep. He’s getting more and more exhausted, and therefore, less and less able to focus on his schoolwork, which makes him even more stressed. Which of course gives him less time to sleep, makes him even more tired, and gives him more trouble keeping his attention on his schoolwork, trapping him in a vicious cycle of stress and exhaustion. 

Remus had been in the library, trying to get started on his Potions essay, but he’d hardly been able to keep his eyes open, so eventually he had decided to just go to the dorm and take a nap before dinner. The stress and exhaustion, in combination with his agitation over the whole Hogsmeade Snow Weekend and the failed match-making attempts, make that Remus is very on edge and very cranky while he makes his way over the Gryffindor tower. 

“Moony!” A voice calls out. 

As Remus turns around, he sees Sirius skipping up the stairs. Literally skipping, all boundless energy and graceful elegance as usual. Normally, the sight always gives Remus a warm feeling in his chest, but now his own disheveled state, his slumped shoulders, pale skin, and the dark circles under his eyes, make for such a stark contrast with Sirius’ usual effortless charm and composure, that it makes Remus feel even more crappy about himself. 

Sirius stops right in front of him, brushes a strand of perfect hair from his face and gives him that bright, eager smile. “Hi, Moony.” 

Remus just grunts something in response, longing for the seclusion of his bed. He’s barely holding himself together, and unfortunately, when Sirius speaks, it’s just the final straw. 

“I’m glad I managed to catch you alone,” Sirius says. “So, the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend is this weekend, and I was wondering if you’ve got any plans?” 

Remus really should’ve known this was coming. If anyone is competitive, it’s Sirius Black, so of course when there’s any type competition going on among their classmates, Sirius is going to join. Of bloody course he is. Remus can handle everyone and their nan trying to find him a date, but not Sirius. Just not Sirius. That’s adding insult to injury. Sirius trying to set him up with someone feels like a punch in his stomach. No, more like a knife to the heart. A knife to the heart and then twisting that knife. Remus has been putting up with a lot, but this is just too much. 

While Remus is silent, Sirius has started talking again. “Because if you haven’t got a date yet, I thought maybe you’d like to-” 

“No!” Remus finally snaps. “No, Sirius, no. Don’t even bother finishing that question, I don’t want to hear it. The answer is no, and it’ll stay no, so forget about it!” 

Sirius snaps his mouth shut and stares at Remus in shocked surprise. 

Now Remus is finally letting his frustration out, it’s like he can’t stop anymore. “You of all people... You really want to know my weekend plans? I’m going to sit in the library and study all day, because honestly, I’d prefer that over a date! At least I’ll have some bloody peace and quiet! I don’t know what exactly it is that you are thinking, but you misunderstood. I definitely do not want to go on a date for the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend. Not now, not ever, so please don’t bother ever trying again!” 

Growing up, the only response to conflict Sirius was ever taught, is to lash out in anger, sometimes even violence. Growing up, Sirius was taught that crying or showing any kind of pain is a sign of weakness. Remus can count the times he saw Sirius cry on one hand, and that were mostly tears of anger. That’s what makes Sirius’ reaction now so unexpected. 

Sirius has gotten very pale and he’s slightly trembling. He looks at Remus with an expression of hurt on his face. Most striking, though, is the overwhelming sadness in his eyes. It’s an expression Remus has never seen on Sirius before, and never wants to see again. He’s even more shocked when he sees tears well up in Sirius’ eyes. As one tear overflows and runs down his cheek, Sirius turns away and leaves without saying word. 

A confused Remus stays behind. He has now idea what to think about the situation, but the idea that he has upset Sirius gives him a sick feeling in his stomach. The exhaustion isn’t helping though, and eventually he decides to go and take that nap anyway. He hopes it’ll give himself and Sirius both some time to calm down and clear their heads, and then he’ll go and find Sirius and apologize. 

Because Remus knows that what he did was wrong. He had known it the moment he started shouting. Sirius was probably genuinely trying to help him. He couldn’t know how those match-making attempts were driving Remus insane, and he definitely couldn’t know how it was extra painful for Remus to have Sirius trying to set him up with a date. And Sirius just had the bad luck to catch him in an extremely bad mood. 

When Remus eventually falls asleep, it’s with that look of sadness in Sirius’ eyes burned into his vision. 

Not long after falling asleep, however, Remus is quite rudely woken up by a pillow being smashed in his face at full force. Startled, he sits up, to see James standing beside his bed. Now, Remus has seen James’ frustrated ‘the Quidditch team isn’t playing as good as they’re capable of’ anger, he has seen James’ resentful ‘Snivellus is trash-talking me to Lily’ anger, but the seething anger on James’ face right now, Remus hasn’t seen before. 

James glares at him and talks through gritted teeth, emphasizing each word. “What. Did. You. Do?” 

Remus just looks at him in confusion. 

“To Padfoot!” James shouts. “What did you do to Padfoot?” 

Remus feels a surge of guilt, but he also feels defensive. Sure, he shouldn’t have taken his frustration out on Sirius, but he had been dealing with that bullshit for days. Can he really be blamed for finally snapping? 

Remus tucks his knees against his chest and stubbornly glares back at James. “If I don’t want to go on a date, I have every right to say so.” 

“Of course you do!” James continues shouting. “But you could’ve said it in a normal way! You’re supposed to be friends, right? Shouting it in his face like that... that was just cruel, Moony.” James shakes his head, and then adds a little calmer: “It’s nothing like you.” 

They’re indeed close friends. That’s why they snap at each other all the time, only to have forgotten about it again ten minutes later, so Remus doesn’t understand why this is suddenly such an issue. Did Sirius really want to win that stupid competition so badly? It honestly can’t mean that much to him. 

“I’m sure he’ll get over it,” Remus mutters. 

“Right,” James says sarcastically. “Because we all know how good Padfoot is at handling rejection. Normal rejection, that is. I’m not even talking about having the person you care about shout it in your face.” 

Remus frowns. “Prongs, I’m sorry I snapped at Padfoot like that, I truly am, but aren’t you making a too big deal out of this? Why do you care so much?” 

“I feel responsible! I actively convinced Padfoot to muster up his courage and ask you, because I actually thought there was a chance you’d say yes,” James laughs bitterly and shakes his head. “I don’t know where I got that idea. But he had been pining after you for so long! I thought, even if you’d say no, then at least he finally knows, right? Then he knows his crush on you is unrequited and he can try to get over you. Never in a million years had I thought that you’d turn him down by yelling at him that you’d rather study all day than go on a date with him, just so you can have some peace and quiet.” James groans. “I don’t even know where to begin picking up the pieces!” 

Remus blinks at him and tries to wrap his head around what James just said. Pining after him? His crush on him? “James,” He asks. “What are you talking about?” 

Now it’s James’ turn to frown. “Moony, have you been Confunded? You know what I’m talking about! You were there! Played quite a big part in it, even. You know, shouting at Padfoot for having the nerve to ask you on a date, and warning him to never ask you ever again?” 

Remus shakes his head. “No. No, No. No, no, no, no, no.” 

“Moony...” 

Remus jumps to his feet. “I never said that! Well, maybe I did say it, but I didn’t know I was saying that!” He recalls the hurt expression on Sirius’ face. “Oh, Merlin. Oh, Merlin, this is bad. So, so bad.” 

“Moony, what-” 

“I thought Sirius was trying to set me up with someone else!” Remus exclaims. “Just like everyone has been doing over the past few days, and I was fed up with it, so I...” 

Realization dawns on James. “You thought you were rejecting some hypothetical person he was trying to set you up with instead of him himself!” James runs a hand through his hair, thinking it over. “That makes sense, actually.” 

“That I’m a huge idiot?” 

“You would’ve never been so mean if you had understood. You would’ve at least tried to be kind and let him down gently...” 

Remus grabs James by his shoulders, shaking him. “Let him down? Why would I do that? James, I’m pretty much obsessed with him, I think about him all the time, I’m completely gone for him!” 

James just silently stares at him for what seems like minutes. Then, his facial expression becomes determined. “You have to find him,” he says decidedly. “You have to find him right now.” 

Remus nods and already wants to dash out of the room, but James’ voice stops him. 

“Moony!” He pushes the Map in Remus’ face. 

“Right,” Remus says sheepishly. 

He and James bend over the Map searching the names. 

“When I found him, he was sitting on the windowsill at the third floor, crying, but he’s not there anymore.” 

“And you left him alone?” 

James gives him a look and Remus flushes. If anyone isn’t allowed to judge on being careless with Sirius’ feelings right now, it’s Remus. 

“The urge to smack a pillow in your face was too strong,” James replies coolly. 

Remus’ eyes fly over the map. “Why are there so many students in this bloody school?” 

“There!” 

“Yes, he’s outside, at the left side of the castle!” 

Remus jumps up and grabs his cloak and scarf, but then he hesitates. “Prongs, I really don’t know what to say to him.” 

“Well,” James runs a hand through his hair. “Look at it from the bright side. You can’t possibly make things any worse.” 

The cold chills Remus through the bones and he hides his face in his scarf. It has started snowing again, fresh snow being added to the layer already covering the grounds. 

When Sirius comes in view, Remus immediately notices that he’s not wearing a cloak, or even a sweater. He’s only wearing a thin shirt, and even at a distance, Remus can see that he’s shivering. The white snowflakes whirling down on his head are in stark contrast with his dark hair. His face is pale and his eyes are red and puffy from crying, while his lips and his fingers are starting to turn blue. 

“Sirius, please come inside! You’re going to freeze to death.” 

Sirius looks up at him with an unreadable expression on his face. “Why do you care?” 

“Because I was quite hoping we could go to the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend together, and that would be rather difficult with you being frozen.” 

Sirius’ expression hardens. “I don’t need your pity, Remus.” 

Remus shakes his head. “It’s not pity! I made a mistake. I’m not a cruel person, just a very dumb one. I thought you were trying to set me up with someone else.” 

Sirius furrows his brow. “Why would I want you to go on a date with someone else when I’m head over heels in love with you?” 

“That!” Remus says, while his heart starts beating erratically. It’s one thing to hear it from James, but something else completely to have Sirius say it himself. “I didn’t know that! I always thought of you as... unattainable.” 

Sirius still looks doubtful. “If you’re just saying this because you want to prevent me from freezing to death...” 

“Sirius, I admit there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to prevent you from freezing to death, but I also mean it.” 

“You thought I was unattainable?” 

Remus nods. 

“So...” Sirius says. “If I were to be attained… would you then be interested in... attaining me?” 

Remus takes a step forward. “I’ll be more than happy to tell you all about how absolutely smitten I am with you, but I much rather do so while your wrapped up in sweaters and huddled under a blanket in front of the fireplace in the common room.” Remus reaches out a hand. “Please come inside.” 

Sirius looks at Remus’ hand for a moment, and then at Remus’ face, searching his eyes. Eventually, he nods, and takes the offered hand. 

Remus and Sirius don’t end up going to the Hogsmeade Snow Weekend together. Sirius, of course, gets a terrible cold, and isn’t even capable of leaving his bed for a couple of days. 

As Sirius lies in bed, though, wearing one of Remus’ sweaters, warmly tucked under layers of warm blankets, while outside heavy snow is falling, with Remus beside him fussing over him, he happily concludes that things could’ve been a whole lot worse. 


	3. Reindeer Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sleigh crashes. Remus is fine, Sirius is worried, Peter is fed up.

> **Friends who are dear to us, gather near to us**
> 
> _Have yourself a merry little Christmas - Frank Sinatra_

Peter yelps and holds on to Remus’ waist a little tighter. They slide over the frozen grounds at a fast pace, the cold winter wind hitting their faces.

“Faster!” Remus shouts, laughing.

The dog and deer pulling the sleigh are up for the challenge. Peter knows from experience that the giant, bear-like dog can actually be quite intimidating, but he’s definitely not right now. He has a headband on his head with reindeer antlers on top, complete with jingle bells attached. The deer of course already has antlers, but for the occasion, they’re decorated with jingle bells as well. The wannabe-reindeers are dashing through the snow as fast as they can, pulling the sleigh with the two boys along behind them.

“C’mon, Prancer and Vixen, is that all you’ve got?” Remus shouts again.

The dog barks very un-reindeer like, and picks up the pace even more.

“Moony,” Peter hisses in Remus’ ear. “At this speed we’re not gonna make the next turn!”

Remus just laughs, clearly enjoying the thrill.

Well, Peter thinks a few seconds later, as he lies face-down in the snow. At least I have the satisfaction of being right.

“Pete, you okay?”

Peter pushes himself up to see Remus sitting across from him, brushing the snow out of his curls.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Merlin, how do you people make even a sleigh ride life-threatening?”

Remus’ answer is interrupted by someone loudly calling his name.

“Moony!” Sirius comes running towards them, looking ridiculous with the reindeer antlers still on his head, and drops himself down in the snow right in front of Remus. “Moony! Moony, are you okay? Please say you’re alive!”

Remus fondly shakes his head. “Padfoot, I’m sitting up, brushing the snow from my clothes. How’d you reckon I’d be doing that if I were dead?”

Sirius shrugs. “You can never be too certain. I’m sorry, though. We were going much too fast. We should’ve been-”

Remus won’t have it. “Are you kidding me? That was amazing! Although, maybe we should place some sort of Shielding Charm or Bouncing Spell over the sleigh next time?”

Next time? Peter shudders, but Sirius’ eyes shine with admiration.

“For real though,” he says, as he places a gentle hand on Remus’ shoulder and looks at him intently. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Remus gives him a soft smile. “Yeah, Pads. I’m fine, I promise.”

They just stare at each other for a while. “I’m okay too, by the way, Padfoot!” Peter calls out.

Sirius at least has the decency to look embarrassed as he rushes over to Peter to help him up.

“I’m sorry, Petey.”

“Yeah, sure you- au!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah, I can’t stand on my left foot.”

“We should get him inside.” James has now joined the group as well. Peter and Remus are staying over at the Potter mansion with James and Sirius for a couple of days this Christmas break, as James’ parents are out of town.

James flicks his wand and suddenly Peter is floating in the air. “Oi! Potter! Wha... What’re you...” he sputters.

James just raises an eyebrow. “You’d rather hop home on one leg?”

Peter ceases his protests. While floating around, he sees how Sirius carefully helps Remus up, how Remus winches as Sirius touches his left arm, but tries to hide it, and how Sirius sees anyway and narrows his eyes at Remus.

Peter gets deposited on one of the couches, and Remus is sitting on the other. The verdict is a strained ankle for Peter, and a strained wrist for Remus. James is in the kitchen on a quest for something to eat, while Sirius comes walking into the room carrying a mug, decorated with a nice swirl of whipped cream.

Sirius sits down next to Remus. “I made you some hot chocolate,” he says, handing Remus the mug. “Milk chocolate, with a shot of hazelnut syrup, mini-marshmallows, whipped cream and a butter cookie! Exactly how you like it.”

“I’d say you really didn’t have to do that, but that just sounds too good to object!” Remus is already bringing the mug to his mouth.

“I’m good, thank you,” Peter says. “No need to get me a drink, Padfoot.”

Sirius doesn’t hear him, as he’s too focused on the way Remus’ eyes lit up as he takes his first sip, or some shite like that.

“Thank you,” Remus says.

“Gotta give you some comfort for that injury.”

“Oh, please. I’ve been used to much worse. And it’s not like I wasn’t urging you on! We’re all to blame here.”

“Not me,” Peter mutters.

Sirius suddenly places a hand on Remus’ cheek. “You have some whipped cream...”

Peter can pinpoint the exact moment Remus’ brain stops working. “Oh. I… Yeah, that’s… Oh.”

Peter wants to thump his head against a wall.

Remus shivers as Sirius strokes his thumb across his cheek to get the whipped cream.

“You’re cold!” Sirius jumps to his feet. “I’ll go get you a blanket!”

“What?” Remus blinks. “No, I’m not cold! Sirius, I don’t need…” But Sirius is already hurrying out of the room. “I strained my wrist, for Godric’s sake!” Remus calls after him. “I can walk just fine. If I need a blanket, I can really go get one myself!”

“You know who can’t walk and actually is kind of chilly?!” Peter adds, but Sirius can’t hear them anymore.

Sirius returns with a blanket.

“Thank you, but really, it’s…” Remus’ protests die in his throat as Sirius basically climbs on top of him, and actually starts _tucking him in_.

“There,” he says, sitting back on his heels. “Doesn’t that make everything better?”

Remus’ expression softens. “Yeah, Pads. You make everything better.”

And again with the staring! Do they realize other people don’t just sit and stare at each other several times a day?

“So,” Peter says loudly. “Who do I have to gaze at like the sun shines out of his arse to get a bloody blanket over here?”

A blanket is suddenly dropped in his lap. James has come out of the kitchen. “You know I’m always in favor of people looking at me like the sun shines out of my arse, Wormtail.”

“Why, Prongsie,” Peter says in mock-indignation. “Aren’t you going to tuck me in?”

James smirks. “Sorry, Wormie. That’s only customary if you want to stick your tongue down someone’s throat, and I have no desire to do so.”

Remus and Sirius both turn bright red.

“Come on, you guys,” Remus murmurs. “Padfoot’s just being kind.”

“Yeah.” Sirius glares at James. “That’s not the only reason I’d do something nice for Moony!”

Peter and James exchange a look with matching grins on their faces.

Not the _only_ reason? Even Remus, Remus who at this point is probably the only person in the whole of Hogwarts who doesn’t know that Sirius Black is in love with Remus Lupin, and that’s including the professors, has to pick up on that. Will today finally be the day?

Remus whirls his head around to Sirius, and Sirius stares at his knees, mumbling. “I mean, that’s… Oh, shite.”

“Sirius…”

Sirius carefully glances up at Remus.

Realization dawns on Remus and his expression changes, becoming determined. Sirius seems to notice the change, as he sits up, mouth slightly open. Suddenly, the air in the room shifts, and there’s a heavy tension.

“Okay,” James says. “That’s my cue to leave.”

James barely makes it out of the room before Remus launches himself at Sirius, who almost automatically wraps his arms around his waist, and Remus’ hands slide into Sirius’ hair as he brings their lips together.

“Guys, I’m still here!” Peter protest. “I’d love to leave, believe me, but my ankle, remember?”

And yes, Peter is thrilled that his friends finally got their shite together, and yes, he’s happy for them, as he knows they’d be good together and deserve each other, but really, he sees both of them as a brother, and watching them make out is highly unsettling.

“You guys, I know you’ve waited for this a long time, but do you mind holding it in a bit longer? Oi, Prongs! Come back here, you wanker! You guys, please, I’m right here!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	4. Mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who can resist some short and sweet mistletoe fluff?
> 
> Remus’ major life problems consist of kissing cute guys under the mistletoe.

> **Oh, ho the mistletoe, hung where you can see**
> 
> _Holly jolly Christmas - Burl Ives_

If you’d have told thirteen-year-old Remus Lupin that seventeen-year-old Remus Lupin’s biggest problem would be being stuck under the mistletoe with a fit bloke who wants to kiss him for the second time in just a few days, thirteen-year-old Remus would’ve probably not been very empathetic.

Still, it’s a problem.

“C’mon Remus, it’s tradition!” Mary exclaims.

“Yeah,” Dorcas adds. “A kiss for the sake of Christmas?”

Fabian grins at Remus from where he’s standing next to him under that taunting mistletoe. “What do you say, Lupin? Shall we keep the Christmas tradition alive?”

“I…” Remus says hesitantly.

“Lupin, for Merlin’s sake!” Benjy’s getting agitated. “You know how this bloody mistletoe business works, don’t you?”

“Why are you being difficult?” Marlene asks. “I know you don’t have a problem with kissing a bloke. I think James kissed every guy in Gryffindor last year, and you yourself kissed Sirius just the other day! So what’s the problem now?”

“It’s just… I don’t…” Remus scrambles for words.

Suddenly, Fabian’s face falls. “Is this because I’m gay?”

“What? No!” Remus only now remembers that Fabian currently is the only openly gay guy in their class.

Fabian folds his arms over his chest. “Why else would you make such a big deal out of kissing me? Maybe you don’t have a problem with having to kiss a guy, but when it’s the gay guy…”

Remus stares at Fabian in horror. He absolutely doesn’t want Fabian to feel bad about himself because of him!

He already hears the murmurs going through the common room.

“Does Lupin have a problem with Fabian?”

“I think he doesn’t want to have to kiss a gay guy?”

“Even with a mistletoe?”

“Remus? Really? I never would’ve thought!”

“Poor Fabian!”

“Just a silly mistletoe kiss. Why would he make such an issue of it?”

Only Lily can be heard as a voice of reason. “Come on, you guys. We all know Remus would never think like that. There can be a thousand reasons for not wanting to kiss someone, we shouldn’t push him!”

“Then why didn’t he have a problem with kissing Black?”

“It’s the only difference I can think of!”

Remus sees no other way. He can’t let people get that impression of him and he can’t let himself hurt Fabian’s feelings. And after all, it really is just a silly mistletoe kiss, so why would he be so difficult about it?

He grabs Fabian’s shoulders and kisses him, while surprised shouts and whistles erupt from the common room.

Remus used to think he has a tendency towards having bad luck. Now, he knows he does.

Right as he’s kissing Fabian, he hears a familiar voice thick with anger.

“What is going on?”

He pulls away from Fabian to see that James and Sirius have just climbed through the portrait hole, and Sirius is now staring at him with his arms crossed over his chest and a very angry expression on his face.

Remus inwardly groans. All he wanted was to go to the library.

Fabian just grins and points up at the ceiling. “Mistletoe, mate.”

Remus can barely see the flick of Sirius’ wand, but in a split-second, the mistletoe lights up in flames and crumbles down in ashes, while Sirius holds his gaze firmly fixed on Remus. Remus thinks it’s quite impressive really, and, disturbingly so, quite hot.

Fabian’s eyes widen slightly, and Remus sighs as he brushes some mistletoe out of his hair. Obviously some damage control is needed.

“Padfoot, what else could I have done?”

“Oh, I don’t know, like… not kiss him?”

“What, with that whole mistletoe-obsession around here? People thought I had something against Fabian personally! There was no other way!”

“No, I suppose snogging his face off was your only option.”

“I was hardly-”

“Did you ever consider just telling the truth?”

“Oh, and what would that be then?” Remus places his hands on his hips and is also raising his voice now, completely forgetting that almost the entire Gryffindor house is listening. “ ‘I’m sorry, Fabian, but ever since I kissed Sirius under the mistletoe we kind of made it a regular thing to snog each other’s faces, and now I’m not sure if it might be considered rude to kiss someone else’?”

Sirius’ expression turns cold. “If that’s all it is to you.”

Remus runs a hand through his hair. “That’s not all I want it to be, but it’s all I know for certain! We haven’t actually talked about it, now have we?”

“I thought it was obvious,” Sirius replies with hurt sounding through in his voice.

“I didn’t want to be presumptuous and embarrass you!” Remus defends himself.

“Embarrass me? Why on earth would I ever be embarrassed about you?” Sirius’ tone is so genuinely surprised, Remus feels something tug at his heart. “I’d very much prefer it over you being cornered under the mistletoe by _other people_.”

At the last words, Sirius glares very pointedly at Fabian, who holds his hands up and takes a few steps backwards, away from Remus, though the look on his face is clearly amused.

“Sounds to me like you should’ve made your intentions more clear, Black.”

Sirius looks as though he’s coming up with a retort, but then he sighs, seeming to realize Fabian has a point. His gaze shifts back over to Remus.

“Is it really not clear?”

Remus looks back at him. It should be. It should be clear why, after that first awkward kiss under the mistletoe, there had been no stopping it anymore. It should be clear why Remus had been so reluctant to kiss someone else, even if it was just an innocent mistletoe kiss. It should be clear why Sirius had been so upset seeing him kiss someone else. It should be clear, and perhaps it is. Perhaps Remus is just being selfish, but he needs to hear him say it. He needs Sirius to look him in the eyes and tell him. So he shakes his head.

Without hesitation, Sirius takes a few steps forward and takes Remus’ hands in his own. A collective gasp goes through the common room, suddenly reminding Remus that they have an audience. He forgets about everything around him again, though, the moment he looks into Sirius’ soft grey eyes, now with a determined expression in them.

“Moony,” Sirius says. “I’m in love with you. Very much so. I just know you’re it for me, and I want us to be together. Fully. Completely. Exclusively. Officially.”

Remus’ face lights up with the brightest smile he’s ever had. “Well, in that case, I am fully, completely, exclusively, officially yours.”

Hoping it’s not bad luck to kiss someone under a burnt mistletoe, he reaches up and presses his lips to Sirius’, under the loud cheers of everyone in the common room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	5. Fireplace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Coffee Shop fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time writing a Coffee Shop AU!  
> Let me know what you think.

> **Holiday greetings and gay happy meetings**
> 
> _It's the most wonderful time of the year - Andy Williams_

Sirius is pretty sure he used to be good at making drinks.

He could match flavors perfectly, find the exact right quantities of each ingredient with ease, and make the best drinks in hardly any time.

Yes, Sirius muses, as he knocks over the milk for the third time in the same half an hour. He used to be good at this.

He blames it all on the guy sitting at the bar. People sit at the bar quite often. It’s what the bar is for, it’s why they have comfortable barstools and newspapers and magazines lying on top of the bar. It’s not even a rare occasion that people sitting at the bar subtly, or not so subtly, check Sirius out either.

But they were never anything like this guy.

The guy is cute, for sure. But also, he’s the exact definition of Sirius’ type. He has large, amber eyes that express such a warmth it gives Sirius a funny feeling in his chest. He has honey-colored curls and the cutest freckles on his nose. When ordering his drink, he had given Sirius such a sweet smile it almost floored him.

Sirius can see the cute guy glance over at him occasionally. He partly likes it, because he hopes, really hopes, the guy keeps looking because he likes what he sees. But he also hates it, because every time it happens, his brain stops functioning and he screws up another order.

Sirius is pretty sure he used to be good at talking to a cute guy, too.

Suddenly, a flurry of blond hair dashes towards him and flies around his neck.

“Oi, Marls!” From the corner of his eye, he sees the guy avert his gaze with a light frown. Sirius does know that having a pretty blond girl hanging from your neck is not a good way of letting a cute guy know you’d be very, very interested. He entangles himself from Marlene’s grip.

“Good lord, Marls. You almost knocked me to the ground.”

Marlene stares at him disbelievingly. “I just saw that you took all shifts for Christmas!”

“You wanted to go to your girlfriend’s place, didn’t you?” Sirius emphasizes the words ‘your girlfriend’ and swears he sees the corner of the cute guy’s mouth curl upward.

Marlene huffs. “But I could have taken at least one shift!”

“What for? You’ve got this special Christmas coming up, first one with your new girlfriend, and I’m not celebrating this year anyway…”

“That doesn’t mean you should be working all day!” Marlene protests.

“I honestly don’t mind, Marlene,” Sirius reassures her. “I’d actually prefer it over being at home alone.”

Marlene looks at him doubtfully. “If you’re really sure…”

“I am, Marls. Have a wonderful Christmas, okay?”

Marlene gives him another hug. “I owe you so much for this!”

Sirius grins. “And don’t you forget it!”

When Marlene has left, Sirius wants to go back to his work, but then he hears a sweet-sounding voice.

“Not a big fan of the Holidays?”

Sirius blinks at the cute guy at the bar.

The guy gives him a small, nervous smile. “You know, ’cause you said you weren’t celebrating…” He blushes as he trails of.

“Oh!” Sirius finally manages to say. The guy looks like he was made to sit underneath the Christmas tree wearing a cozy Christmas sweater. Sirius doesn’t want him to think he’s some kind of Grinch. “No, I like it! I like the whole atmosphere, the cheerfulness, the lights everywhere… I actually decorated this place.” Sirius vaguely gestures around the café.

There’s a large Christmas tree by the window, that he managed to decorate looking cozy without looking tacky. There are stars hanging of front of the windows and Christmas pieces on the tables. In the far corner of the room is a large fireplace decorated with garlands with a low table in front of it, surrounded by large, soft, comfy chairs. It’s by far the most popular place to sit, especially with the Christmas look.

“I’m just...” Sirius tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. “Having some family issues. So I’m skipping the celebrations this year.”

“I’m sorry,” the guy replies.

“Don’t be!” Sirius says quickly, not wanting to immediately make the conversation so loaded. “I really don’t mind being here on Christmas Day. It’s actually quite nice. It’s one of the few places that’s open, but many people still like to get out of the house and go for a walk, even on Christmas Day, and like to warm themselves with some Chestnut Praline Latte and some Christmas cookies. It’s mostly families with small children who can’t bear to be inside all day, or couples in love going for a romantic walk through the snow, and everyone is in such a good mood and so friendly. The tips for the poor barista working on Christmas Day are insane,” he adds with a wink.

“I admit, that doesn’t sound so bad,” the guy says with a smile. “And you don’t have to visit your girlfriend’s family either?”

That’s a normal question, right? People always have to divide the Holidays between their family and their in-laws, so that’s a logical follow-up question. Anyone would’ve asked that. There’s no way this guy is fishing to find out if Sirius is single, right?

Sirius chuckles. “If I had one of those, I wouldn’t be in this mess.”

The guy just looks at him questioningly, so Sirius continues. “My parents sort of kicked me out when they found out I’m gay.”

The guy frowns. “People still do that in the 21st Century?”

“Unfortunately so,” Sirius sighs. “Although I doubt my parents ever got the memo that we are in fact living in the 21st Century.”

“Boyfriend then?” The guy asks.

Sirius shakes his head. “Not so easy to find.”

“Tell me about it,” the guy sighs.

Tell me about it? Tell me about it as in ‘I know as common knowledge that finding a partner can be hard’, or tell me about it as in ‘I know from experience that finding a partner can be hard’? Past experience or recent experience? And tell me about it ‘I know that it’s in general not easy to find a partner’, or tell me about it ‘I know that it’s especially difficult to find a man, as I’d be looking for a man too’? And ‘I know that it’s difficult’ as in ‘I haven’t found one either’, meaning ‘I’m into guys and single as well’ tell me about it? What does he mean by tell me about it?

Sirius gets called away by a customer ordering a Caramel Brulee Latte. As he’s in the back to pick up a new bottle of caramel syrup, he decides to just go for it. Maybe he has a chance, maybe he’ll crash and burn, but what has he got to lose? Time to up his game. He unbuttons an extra button of his shirt, rolls up his sleeves to his elbows in that way Marlene always says looks good on him and lets his hair fall loose.

Based on the customer paying almost twice as much for an already overpriced coffee, his game is definitely up. Sirius walks back to the cute guy, and leans over the bar slightly too far, while looking up at him through his lashes. “What about you?”

The guy glances down at his chest, and then quickly up to his eyes again, a blush creeping over his face. That’s a good sign, right? “What... What about me?” He asks.

“What are you doing for Christmas? No, wait!” Sirius pushes himself up from the bar. “Let me guess!” Sirius looks at the guy intently, tapping his finger. “You look like the type of person who would spend his Christmas in front of the fireplace curled up in a woolen-knitted blanked reading his favorite book, while drinking hot chocolate and eating Christmas cookies?”

The guy chuckles. “Four out of five, I’m impressed!”

Sirius raises an eyebrow.

“Christmas chocolates,” the guy clarifies. “Not Christmas cookies.”

Sirius laughs. “I should have known!”

“Although this year will surely be different. I just moved here for my studies, and I can’t afford to go back home for Christmas. My small student flat most definitely doesn’t have a fireplace,” the guy adds laughing. “I guess this year I’ll be spending Christmas alone in front of the central heating.”

“We have a fireplace,” Sirius says, gesturing at the comfy chairs in the corner. “You could always come here.”

The guy hesitates. “Isn’t that a bit pathetic? Being alone in a café on Christmas day?"

“Oi!”

“You work here!” The guy laughs. “That’s different!”

“Still,” Sirius says. “We have a fireplace, good food and drinks, and you’ll feel less alone here. And... I’ll be here.”

The guy blushes again. “Thank you, I’ll think about it.”

“I’m Sirius, by the way.”

“Thank you. It’s a really kind suggestion, and I’ll certainly-”

“No,” Sirius chuckles. “I don’t mean I’m serious about the suggestion – although I am! - but I mean my name’s Sirius.”

The guy frowns. “Your name is serious?”

“Sirius. Like the star?”

The guys eyes light up. “Ah! That makes sense!”

Normally, Sirius would’ve given him one of his trademark smiles and say something like ‘and why do you think it makes sense that I’d be named after a star?’ Now, he only turns bright red and knocks over a mug.

“I’m Remus. Like...” The guy, Remus, frowns. “Well, like that guy who tried to kill his brother I guess?”

Sirius chuckles. “God, I hope you don’t have any siblings.”

“Not anymore,” Remus says darkly, and Sirius barks a laugh.

When Remus eventually pays for his drink, Sirius shortly squeezes his hand. “I’d really like it if you’d stop by on Christmas Day, but really, no pressure.”

Remus never thought he’d find himself outside on his way to a café on Christmas Day. Hell, Remus never thought he’d change out of his pajamas on Christmas Day. But it had been very nice place, they served some good drinks, it might be good to get out of the house for a bit, and that barista had seemed friendly. That barista... Oh, who’s he kidding? That smile and those eyes are the only reason Remus is ploughing through the snow right now.

Sometimes he could’ve sworn the guy was flirting, but then again, he could’ve just been trying to make some money out of him. Remus laughs to himself as he pictures the café packed front to back with single guys all pining over the same barista, fighting over who gets to give the largest tip.

As he enters the café though, it’s exactly like Sirius had said: families with small children, couples in love, happy chatter. This might not be so bad. Suddenly, Sirius is standing in front of him, wearing a cozy red sweater, a Santa hat and the brightest smile Remus has ever seen. This might not be so bad at all.

“You came!” Sirius beams at him.

Remus smiles back. “Couldn’t resist.”

They just stand there for a while, smiling at each other.

Sirius is the first to shake himself out of it. “Well, sir, if you’d follow me?”

Curiously, Remus follows him to the far corner of the room. On one of the large, comfy chairs close to the fireplace a ‘reserved’ sign is placed. In the chair lies a woolen-knitted blanket and by the foot of the chair stands a stack of books. On the low table next to the chair a little tray is placed with a mug of warm chocolate milk and a platter filled with Christmas chocolates.

Remus turns to Sirius, who’s looking at him with a mixture of hope and nerves, at a loss for words. “I... You...” Eventually, he just throws his arms around Sirius’ neck in a hug. “Thank you!”

Sirius wraps his arms around Remus’ waist, and really, there’s no reason why being in the arms of someone you’ve barely known for a day should feel this right. “Merry Christmas, Remus.”

Remus isn’t making much progress with any of the books. Not that they aren’t good, no, Sirius has got quite good taste. It’s just hard to focus on a sentence when your eyes keep drifting. He should really stop doing that, Remus thinks, as he glances in Sirius’ direction for the hundredth time. Especially since, more often than not, Sirius catches him look and meets his gaze. But then again, doesn’t that mean that apparently Sirius is looking at him quite often as well? Remus feels an exciting nervous flutter in his stomach each time he meets those beautiful grey eyes.

Remus is distracted for a while when a little girl comes to introduce him to the stuffed rabbit Santa Claus had brought for her that morning. Remus shakes hands with Mr. Hoppers and assures the girl that he’s a very lucky bunny indeed to have found such a nice home.

Another time Remus listens breathlessly as an elderly couple sits down next to him, married for over fifty years, but still so in love as the day he asked for her hand, and tell him their life story. When the old woman hears that Remus is alone for Christmas, she insists that he’ll come with them and share a home-cooked Christmas dinner. Remus is running out of polite ways to refuse, when Sirius appears to give the woman a glass of eggnog. He looks from Remus to the old woman and says with a wink “You’re not trying to steal him away from me, are you, Mrs. Miller?” The old woman glances between Remus to Sirius with a knowing smile. Remus can feel himself blush, but at least she stops asking.

Eventually, when Sirius is in the back for a bit preparing another batch of Christmas cookies, Remus manages to immerse himself in one of the books and soon, he’s completely wrapped up in the story, comfortably snuggled up in the warm glow of the fireplace. He only becomes aware of his surroundings again when someone sits down right next to him. He looks up, and sees Sirius smiling at him, holding two mugs with whipped cream on top.

Remus looks around the café and notices that it’s completely empty, and all tables have been cleaned. “You’re closed!” He exclaims, half getting up from his chair. “Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you tell me it was time to leave?”

“Because I was rather hoping you’d stay?”

Remus turns his head to look back at Sirius, who quickly adds “Only if you want to, of course! Please, feel free to leave. I’m not trying to be creepy, I swear!”

Remus lets himself slide back into the chair. “No! No. I’d... I’d like that.” He accepts the mug Sirius offers him.

“Cheers,” Sirius says. “To a much better Christmas than I expected.”

“To a much better Christmas then I expected,” Remus repeats.

Sirius takes a drink and Remus looks around the café again. "So you decorated this place?"

Sirius nods.

“Well,” Remus says, meeting Sirius’ eyes. “Then you must be aware that we’re currently sitting underneath a mistletoe?”

Sirius chuckles and calmly puts down his mug.

“Oh no,” he says in an amused tone. “What are we to do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	6. Hat & Gloves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walburga Black wants Hope Lupin's son to leave her son alone. She disagrees.

> **Can hardly wait for school to start again**
> 
> _It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas - Bing Crosby_

"Mrs. Lupin!” Euphemia calls out.

She makes her way over to a small woman with a soft, round face and short curly hair a bit further along the platform. She has just given James a final hug goodbye now that he’s returning to Hogwarts after the Christmas break, which he pretended to be annoyed by as any sixteen-year old boy should, but she knows he secretly loved. James is now avidly talking to his friends, all meeting up in the middle of the platform before the waiting train.

Mrs. Lupin turns towards Euphemia with a smile. “Euphemia! How lovely to see you again, and I’ve told you, please call me Hope.”

“Right, of course,” Euphemia says with a smile. “I just wanted to thank you for those Christmas cookies you sent. They were delicious.”

Hope’s face lights up “So you’ve gotten them? I’m glad to hear! Lyall said I could just give them to the owl, but I didn’t trust that beast to just rip it open and eat them all himself!”

Euphemia chuckles. “Your owl did fine! James was absolutely delighted when he heard Remus’ mum had sent her cookies.”

“Yes, Remus told me how much his friends love them!”

“How is Remus?” Euphemia asks in a more serious tone. “I thought he was looking a bit down. Is his health alright?”

“Yes, yes,” Hope quickly reassures her. Then she sighs and continues in a hushed tone. “Between you and me, I suspect he’s suffering from heartache, and you know how intense those feelings can be at that age.”

“Yes,” Euphemia replies. “My James is truly a hopeless romantic. With emphasis on _hopeless_. I guess I’m lucky James never lets anything disconcert him.”

“Remus is quite out of it, I’m afraid,” Hope says in a regretful voice. “He was actually very cheerful when he just got home, and I knew it had something to do with his love life, as he took up knitting again, just because he wanted to give someone a home-made gift! Of course, he wouldn’t tell me who or why.”

At Euphemia’s surprised face, Hope clarifies. “You see,” she says with a fond smile. “Remus had quite an isolated childhood, no other children his age around, so he spent most of his time with me. He took over all his mum’s hobbies, gardening, flower arranging, baking, knitting… He’s always been quite good at knitting, but hadn’t done it in a while. But now he was suddenly full of determination to make a really special gift!”

“What a sweet thing to do!” Euphemia exclaims.

“You should’ve seen it, Euphemia!” Hope says enthusiastically. “He wrapped it so lovingly and wrote a card to send with it, before giving it to the owl.” Then the smile disappears from her face. “He never got a reply. He was waiting so anxiously, but nothing. He got more sad and more silent as the days passed.”

Euphemia shakes her head. “No reply whatsoever? That’s harsh!”

“Excuse me,” a shrill, cold voice suddenly interrupts their conversation. “I need a word with Mrs. Lupin.” A tall woman, beautiful, but with a haughty air, is standing besides them. She has thick, dark hair and she’s wearing classic, expensive-looking robes. Her cold eyes are fixed on Hope, and her mouth curls in distaste as she speaks the word _Lupin_.

“Walburga,” Euphemia says. “Such a pleasure to see you.”

Walburga hardly spares her a glance. “Mrs. Black, if you please.”

Euphemia resists the urge to roll her eyes.

“What can I do for you, Mrs. Black?” Hope asks, while she gives Euphemia a pleading look that clearly says ‘Don’t leave me alone with this woman’. Euphemia has no intention to do so.

Walburga takes a crumpled up parchment out of her robe and throws it at Hope, who catches it with surprise. As she unfolds it, Euphemia sees a pair of gloves and a matching hat, nicely knitted with red and golden wool. They would’ve looked lovely with his Gryffindor scarf, Euphemia thinks.

“I’d appreciate it if you’d prevent your son from sending muggle-made rubbish to our house,” Walburga says coolly.

Hope’s eyes snap up. “Rubbish? He spent hours making these all by himself! How do you mean _rubbish_?”

“Your son would be wise to find a more useful way to spend his time,” Walburga replies ice-cold.

“Mrs. Black,” Euphemia interrupts. “You don’t really want to tell the boy off for sending a kind and thoughtful gift?”

“I wish that was the only thing,” Walburga says regretfully. She hands over a card to Hope. “This came with it.”

Euphemia reads over Hope’s shoulder.

_Dear Siri,_

_Remember when you said you’ve never gotten a home-made gift before?_

_Well, here you go!_

_I hope you like it. I hope you don’t think I’m being silly._

_Truth is, I really wanted to give you something personal. I feel like we’ve gotten a lot closer lately, and it feels right. I like where this is going. I like where we’re going. I like us. I like you._

_I like you, Sirius. I really like you._

_I hope I’m not reading too much into things. I hope I’m not misinterpreting. If I am, please feel free to just act like this never happened. If I’m not… well, I look forward to hearing from you soon._

_I miss you, Sirius. Merry Christmas._

_Your Moony_

Euphemia immediately regrets that she’s read the note. Something so personal, not meant to be read by her, not meant be read by any of them.

“Now you see what kind of improper behavior your son has been getting into,” Walburga says. “With these vulgar advances towards my son.”

“This is a sweet note written for the boy he fancies! It’s perfectly innocent.”

“Innocent?” Walburga hisses. “I don’t call putting these indecent ideas in my son’s head innocent! By Salazar, if I hadn’t been able to intercept it…”

Hope’s eyes narrow. “You _what_?”

Walburga huffs. “Like I would expose my son to insinuations such as these.”

“Are you saying,” Hope says, trembling with anger and a furious look in her eyes. “That Sirius never saw the gift or the letter? My son spent hours in front of the fireplace working on this gift, sent it with all his love and care, and waited for days for a reply, and you just… took it?”

“Your son was out of place.”

“It was a home-made Christmas gift!” Hope shouts, and Euphemia notices they’re starting to attract a crowd. “Even if you’re right, even if your son isn’t interested in my son like that, they’re still close! He’s a friend your son made at-”

“He’s a mistake my son made!” Walburga is also raising her voice. “And as his mother, it’s my task to correct his mistakes. I expect you to respect my whishes and tell your son to keep his distance from mine.”

“I honestly don’t see the problem, Mrs. Black,” Hope counters. “My son _likes_ your son! It’s a compliment!”

“A compliment?” Walburga exclaims, her eyebrows shooting up. “What, you expect me to be flattered that an insignificant boy bred by a muggle thinks he has the right to approach the son and heir of the House of Black in such an impertinent way?” Walburga shakes her head and gives Hope a disparaging smile. “Well, since you are just a muggle, I shouldn’t have too high expectations of your understanding, so let me explain. The Black family is an ancient and noble Wizarding family, if not the most ancient and noble of the Wizarding families. Our respectable reputation is built on the fact that we take great care in keeping our blood pure and free from the stain of non-magical interference. We’re one of the most sacred Wizarding families in history. To be a Black is to have a certain rank and to uphold certain standards, and to choose wisely who you associate yourself with.”

Hope gives her a bewildered look, and there’s a self-satisfied expression on Walburga’s face. “Now you’re no longer ignorant…”

“Bollocks!” Euphemia says.

Walburga turns her head to her. “Excuse me?”

“That’s a load of bollocks!” Euphemia glares at Walburga. “That’s not how things work in the Wizarding world at all! Sure, some of you pureblood fanatics might think your last name makes you royalty or something, but the truth is you’re no better than the rest of us. Muggle, muggle-born, half-blood, pureblood, it’s all the same.”

“You sound like the blood-traitor you are,” Walburga speaks calmly. “You’ll come to regret those words.” She turns her attention back to Hope. “And your son will come to regret it if he doesn’t back off from my son.”

“My son will ‘back off’ from your son when _your son_ tells him to do so,” Hope replies. “But that’s not up to me, and definitely not up to you.”

“Your son must learn his place,” Walburga snarls. “He must learn that he is not, nor ever will be, worthy of a Black.”

“My son,” Hope says, taking a step forward. “Is a strong, bright and kind young man, who deserves anything he sets his heart upon. He’s a great person, and I won’t allow him to think any less of himself because of what blood courses through his veins or how ancient his last name is. I have never, and I will never, tell my son that he’s not good enough for anything.”

“You won’t be doing the boy any favors by letting him fool himself! Sirius is the heir of the Black family-”

“I don’t care if he were the bloody prince of England!” Hope shouts and Walburga involuntary takes a step back. “If my son likes him and wants to be with him, then _your son_ is the lucky one.”

Walburga tries to shake off her shock at having this tiny and powerless muggle talk to her like that. “Your husband works for the Ministry, doesn’t he? I don’t think you quite realize the influence the Black family has in places like that. Things could suddenly become quite difficult for him.”

“Are you _threatening_ me?” Hope shouts, balling her fists and moving towards Walburga. She looks like she’s going to punch her, witch or not, and Euphemia’s hand goes to her wand, to protect Hope if necessary. She’s suddenly grateful for the audience they’ve attracted. At least Walburga won’t try any of her Dark Arts here.

“I don’t give a damn what you, your family or the whole bloody Ministry will do, I support my son!” Hope shouts. “If he likes that boy, then he’s going after that boy, because my son deserves to go after what he wants, and you can be damned sure that I’m not going to tell him otherwise!”

“So you’re going to let him poison my son’s mind and corrupt him?” Walburga asks through clenched teeth.

“My son cannot force your son to feel one way or another,” Hope says. “If your son likes him back, then it’d be your son’s doing, and if your son rejects him, well…” Hope adds with a challenging little smile. “Then it’d be your son’s loss.”

“Oh please,” Walburg snarls. “If, or when, my son rejects him, it’d be-”

“The dumbest thing I’ve ever done. And that’s saying a lot.” All three women turn their heads to see Sirius standing there, arms crossed over his chest, Remus and James standing behind him. It must be absolutely mortifying for Remus, but right now, his major concern is someone daring to talk to his mum like that, and he’s glaring at Walburga. Sirius is also glaring, not to the woman arguing with his mother, but to his mother.

“Keep your mouth shut, foolish boy,” Walburga warns. “Mrs. Lupin here is-”

“Telling the truth!” Sirius says. “Remus Lupin is the best person I’ve ever met, and if he’d want to be with me, I’d be very lucky indeed.”

Walburga doesn’t even look very surprised, just angry. Perhaps that’s why she had been so affronted: not because she thought Remus’ feelings would upset her son, but because she knew they’d do the exact opposite.

“I’m warning you, Sirius Orion Black,” Walburga says threateningly. “If you choose to defile your family name like this, I’ll scorch you off the family tree, you’ll no longer be the heir, you won’t inherit a thing, and you’ll lose all your birth rights. Would you really give up all of that for _him_? ”

Sirius doesn’t even bat an eye and answers without a hint of doubt. “In a heartbeat.”

Walburga shakes her head in disappointment. “You stupid, stupid boy. Why would you-”

“Because I _love_ him!” Sirius shouts. For a moment, he seems surprised by his own outburst, but then composes himself. “I love him,” he repeats more calmly. “I love him, I really do.”

He turns to Remus, who’s staring at him with wide eyes and a slightly parted mouth.

“I love you, Re,” Sirius says, his voice almost breaking.

Remus rushes forward, cups Sirius’ face in his hands and just kisses him. When they break apart, Remus rests his forehead against Sirius’ and takes a deep breath. “I love you too, Siri.”

The people surrounding them cheer. All except one.

“You are young and foolish and you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Walburga spits. “This will never last! And when it all falls apart, you won’t even have a family anymore.”

Euphemia opens her mouth to speak, but James beats her to it. “He’ll always have family!” He looks over at Sirius. “Unless you break Moony’s heart. Then you’re on your own, mate.”

Sirius shrugs. “Fair enough, mate.”

Walburga looks around her. “Muggles, half-bloods, blood traitors. The times are changing, and you’ll all get what you deserve soon enough.” And with that, she stalks off.

 _Times are changing. Get what you deserve._ Her words linger in the air, but then Remus takes Sirius’ hand in his and her words fade away again.

Right now, they’re young and in love, and the war seems very, very far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	7. Blizzard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renus has to go back to the flat as his flight has been delayed, and finds out he severely underestimated how much him leaving affects Sirius.

> **Wish I'd known before you left me**
> 
> _Winter in America - Doug Ashdown_

“I’m very sorry sir, but no airline will risk flying through this horrible blizzard. I’m surprised you didn’t hear about it on the news.” Right, the muggle news. Remus should’ve checked the muggle news before leaving. The girl behind the desk scrolls through her computer screen. “All flights have been delayed. The best I can do is book you a seat on a flight scheduled for tomorrow.”

Remus sighs. “Well, if that’s the only option…”

The girl gives him a sympathetic smile. “Do you need help finding a place to stay for the night?”

Remus shakes his head. “No thank you. I’m fine. I live in London.” _Used to live in London_.

As Remus makes his way out of the airport, he almost wishes he had asked for a hotel, instead of going back to his flat. _Sirius’ flat_. Saying goodbye to Sirius had been heart-wrenching, and now he’d come home, _Sirius’ home, not his anymore_ , only to say goodbye again tomorrow…

A bitter laugh escapes Remus. Such a cruel twist would be just his luck.

Remus gets in a taxi. He could’ve just apparated, but he needs a moment to calm his mind before facing Sirius again. He thinks back to their last conversation.

“Everything’s packed. Well, except for that green jumper I can’t seem to find. The plane leaves in just a few hours, so I’ll be going to the airport soon.”

“You don’t have to do this, Moony.”

“I know. But I want to. It’s a chance for me to be useful.”

“You can be useful here!”

“How, Padfoot? You’re going to be a Healer, Prongs is going to be an Auror, while I can’t even keep a job moving boxes!”

“That still doesn’t mean you should allow them to use you as a bloody guinea pig!”

“The research team in Boston is making vast progress. They say Damocles Belby is well on his way to a breakthrough! If I can help with a cure, or even the hope of a cure, don’t I owe it to-”

“You don’t owe anybody a damn thing! Just because you have this condition doesn’t mean others should be allowed to use you for whatever they want.”

“I’m not doing it for them. I’m doing it for others like me. They can test their potions on me if it means others will eventually have a safe cure.”

“Is it really worth it, though? Leaving your family, leaving your friends, leaving- And you don’t know when, or if, you’ll come back…”

“I’m not only making sacrifices. They’re offering me a place to stay and they’ll pay me some money.”

“Stop that. I hate it when you do that. Talk like you should be grateful that they’re willing to give you something in return, while you’re leaving your entire life behind and risking your health to be their test subject!”

“Most people don’t think a werewolf deserves even that courtesy.”

“Most people are idiots.”

“In any case, I can’t keep living off of yours and Prongs’ pocket.”

“You’re not-“

“Oh please, Sirius. I’m not dumb. I know that the rent you’re asking me to pay isn’t even twenty percent of what this place actually costs. And I know that I’m not constantly forgetting I still had some galleons in my coat pocket.”

“We don’t mind, Moony.”

“But I do.”

“I wish you could stay for Christmas at least.”

“Me too. But the subsidy provider demands they start the testing phase this year, so they want to get started before the Holidays.”

“It won’t be the same without you, Moony. I… I’m going to miss you.”

“I really am sorry, Sirius.”

Remus stares out of the taxi’s window at the snowflakes slowly falling. Walking away from that flat, walking away from Sirius, had been the hardest thing he’s ever done. He wonders how he’ll find the strength to do it again tomorrow. As he was walking away, suitcase in hand, Sirius had called after him. Remus had turned around, and Sirius had been standing in the doorway, an unreadable expression on his face. Remus had half-hoped Sirius would ask him one more time to stay. Remus had half-hoped this time he’d give in. But Sirius had shaken his head, and the moment had been gone. “Have a safe flight, Moony,” was all he had said.

Sirius is an important reason why it’s so hard for Remus to leave. Sirius is also an important reason why Remus has to leave. Remus is in love with Sirius. The feelings came when he was fifteen. At first, he tried to make them go away, but after nights of crawling into Sirius’ arms after a nightmare, mornings of waking up with Sirius’ hand in his after a rough full moon, and evenings of falling asleep with his head on Sirius’ shoulder, he had come to accept that loving Sirius would be a permanent part of his life.

Remus never forgets what he is, though. With his lycanthropy, Remus is condemned to a life of poverty, prejudice, stigma and danger. He can’t drag another person into that, especially someone who deserves as much as Sirius. But he hadn’t expected how different being flat mates would be from being dorm mates. It feels so domestic sometimes, and Remus can’t help having these thoughts. _What if? What if this could be more than a fantasy? What if we lived in a different world? A world where I’m not a werewolf? A world where I’m not afraid to love him, or let him love me?_ It’s pointless thinking. They don’t live in a different world and he is a werewolf. And besides, Remus can’t imagine a world in which he’d ever be good enough for Sirius Black.

Remus walks up to their front door. _Sirius’ front door_. The door is open, and Remus steps inside. No lights are on inside. For a moment, Remus thinks no one’s home, but then he hears a soft whimper coming from the living room. Remus leaves his suitcase in the kitchen and walks towards the sound.

“Sirius?” He asks softly.

Then he sees him. He’s curled up on the couch, clutching the supposedly lost green jumper and pressing it against his chest. He’s crying. His cheeks are wet with tears and his body is shaking with his sobs.

For a moment, Remus can only stand and stare, hardly able to comprehend seeing his best friend so broken.

“Sirius?” He asks when he eventually regains the ability to speak. “Oh, Sirius…”

Sirius’ eyes fly open, red and puffy from crying, and he sits up. He looks at Remus as though he’s a ghost.

Remus expects Sirius to quickly wipe the tears away, and laugh it off or pretend that it never happened, but he doesn’t. He launches himself at Remus, wraps his arms around him, and clutches to him like a life-line.

“Don’t go, Moony. Please don’t go. I can’t. I can’t without you. I can’t. I need you, Moony. Don’t leave. Please… Just please don’t leave!”

Remus just holds him and soothingly rubs his back, whispering whatever comes to mind. “I’m here, Siri. It’s all going to be okay. I’m here.”

Remus sits Sirius back down on the couch, and once he’s calmed down a bit, Remus places a hand on his cheek to wipe the tears away “Why did you never say anything?”

Sirius covers his hand with his own. “What could I have said? You’ve always been very clear. You don’t do romance or relationships, it’s not for you. I would’ve just driven you away, and I rather had you with me, though not in the way I truly wanted, then not have you at all.”

Remus pulls his hand back and shakes his head. “But nothing’s changed. I’m still a werewolf, I still can’t give you all the things you deserve.”

Sirius cups Remus’ face in both his hands and forces him to look at him. “What does that matter? _I love you_ , Remus Lupin. If you reject me because you don’t feel the same way, then I’ll accept that. But don’t you dare reject me because you’re deceiving yourself into thinking that’s what’s best for me. You were gone for three hours, and look at what a mess I was. You’re what’s best for me.”

Remus can see the determination in Sirius’ eyes. _What if? What if this could be more than a fantasy? What if we lived in a different world?_ But it doesn’t matter, does it? This world or any other, they’re Sirius Black and Remus Lupin and they’re meant to be together.

Remus gets up from the couch and Sirius drops his hands and stares after him. Remus walks over to the old muggle phone he sometimes uses to talk to his mum, or occasionally Lily, and picks up the horn.

“Good afternoon, I’m calling about a booking I’ve made for the flight from London Heathrow to Boston Logan International Airport tomorrow. Under the name Remus John Lupin. Yes, indeed. No, madam, I’d actually like to cancel my booking.”

Remus can’t help but smile at the relief, hope and love all evident on Sirius’ face.

“Yes, madam, I’m sure. I understand, but I can assure you that I’m absolutely certain.”

While the lady goes on about the airline’s cancelation policy, Remus meets Sirius’ eyes.

“As a matter of fact, madam, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, I wonder what that lady on the phone must think. Wow, this guy really doesn't want to fly.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	8. Chilly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is afraid Christmas will never be the same once they leave Hogwarts. It won't, but that's actually not a bad thing.

> **To face unafraid, the plans that we've made**
> 
> _Walking in a Winter Wonderland - Bing Crosby_

_Christmas Day 1977_

There’s a sharp December chill in the air. Remus wraps his hands a little tighter around his mug of warm chocolate milk. He’s standing by the window in the living room, while laughter sounds from behind him coming from James and Peter sitting on the rug playing Exploding Snap. There’s a pleasant warmth in the room, but it’s as though he can feel the cold seep through the glass of the window. Despite the fact that he doesn’t like the cold, he’s got to admit that the large garden surrounding the Potter mansion is a sight to behold. The branches of the trees are frozen white, and a crisp layer of snow covers the grass, painting a beautiful and serene picture.

Suddenly, an arm is flung around Remus’ shoulder.

“Doesn’t that snow look made for frolicking?” Sirius grins at him.

Remus rolls his eyes. “I’m not frolicking anywhere. I get cold just looking at it.”

That’s not completely true. Now that Sirius oh-so-casually has an arm draped around him, he doesn’t feel cold anymore. Quite the opposite. A heat spreads through his body, and Remus hopes his cheeks aren’t flushed.

It’s Christmas break. The Christmas break of their seventh year at Hogwarts. Their last Christmas break.

Sirius has recently inherited some money from his uncle, and has bought a small flat in London, where he’ll be moving in this summer after graduation, James and Lily are actually making plans to buy a house together, and Peter will be taking over his parental house, since his mother wants to move to a smaller place.

And Remus? Well, Remus tries not to think about the big, black hole that is his future, tries not to think about how he has no place to live, no money, no prospects, and no chance of anyone wanting to hire someone like him.

Remus is brought back to the present by Sirius grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the kitchen.

“Come on, let’s see if Mrs. Potter still has some of those Christmas Cookies hidden somewhere!”

Remus thinks about how he’d let himself be dragged anywhere as long as Sirius is firmly clasping his hand. Remus also thinks about how it’s not normal to feel that way about your friend, just like it’s not normal to feel sick to your stomach at the thought of no longer sharing a dorm with said friend and not having him around you every day anymore.

Remus definitely does not think about how Mrs. Potter insisted on hanging a branch of fresh mistletoe above the doorway to the kitchen.

He’s too wrapped up in the melancholic knowledge that things will never be anything like this ever again.

_Christmas Day, 1978_

There’s a sharp December chill in the air. Remus wraps his hands a little tighter around his mug of warm chocolate milk. He’s standing by the window in the living room, while laughter sounds from behind him coming from James and Peter sitting on the rug playing Exploding Snap. There’s a pleasant warmth in the room, but it’s as though he can feel the cold seep through the glass of the window. Despite that cold and the fact that their small balcony is coated in a layer of frost, however, their potted plants are in full bloom. He wonders how long Sirius expects him to belief he’s got a green thumb, instead of him having charmed the plants to keep blooming.

Suddenly, two arms are wrapped around his waist from behind and he’s pulled against a strong chest. A voice whispers close to his ear. “If it’s still too cold for you, I know a way of frolicking that doesn’t involve any snow, and will leave you hot rather than cold.”

Remus chuckles as he leans further into Sirius’ embrace, and places one of his hands on top of Sirius’.

“Even though you make a very compelling argument, I hardly think this is the time for _that_ kind of frolicking.”

Sirius kisses his temple. “You’re probably right. Those Christmas preparations aren’t going to do themselves.”

As Remus nuzzles Sirius’ neck, he kind of wishes that those Christmas preparations were going to do themselves.

Remus is brought back to the present by Sirius grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the kitchen.

“Come on, Evans will be here soon and we’ve got to proof that it wasn’t a mistake to let us be the first couple to host Christmas at our place instead of her and Prongs, and we’ve still got tons of food to prepare!”

Remus thinks about how he’d still let himself be dragged anywhere as long as Sirius is firmly clasping his hand. Remus also thinks about how wonderful it is to feel that way about your boyfriend, just like it doesn’t stop being wonderful to hear Sirius say ‘our place’.

While Remus isn’t thinking about how Sirius insisted on hanging a branch of fresh mistletoe above the doorway to the kitchen, he’s less surprised when Sirius spins around and lovingly kisses him on the lips, as he’s been making a sort of habit out of that lately.

“Merlin Padfoot,” James says from where he’s lounging on the floor. “Maybe you needed the mistletoe as an excuse last year, but you don’t anymore.”

Sirius grins at him. “Just keeping the tradition alive, Prongs.”

Remus had been right about one thing. After that Christmas Day last year, things had never been the same again. But, Remus thinks as his handsome _boyfriend_ enthusiastically starts his attempt at making Christmas cookies in _their_ kitchen, he supposes not all change is bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	9. Santa Claus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I saw Moony kissing Santa Claus!  
> Oh, what a laugh it would've been, if Pads had only seen...

> **I saw Moony kissing Santa Claus**
> 
> Oh, what a laugh it would've been, if Pads had only seen...
> 
> _Adapted from I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus - The Jackson 5_

“My my my, the elves must have been mistaken!” Santa Claus says as he looks at his bag completely filled with gifts. “So many gifts all for one boy!” He looks over at Harry, who nervously shifts a little closer to his mum. “Have you been such a good boy this year, Harry?”

Harry stares at Santa Claus with wide eyes, too overwhelmed to say anything.

“Hmm,” Santa Claus says, stroking his long, white beard. “Perhaps I should take these gifts back to the North-Pole then...”

“No!” Harry quickly says, sitting up. “I’ve been good, Santa! I really have!”

Remus chuckles, and sees how Santa Claus has to suppress a chuckle as well.

“Have you now?” Amusement seeps through in Santa Claus’ voice. “So you haven’t switched your dad’s hair potion with hair dye, so he had bright pink hair for a whole week?”

Harry flushes and looks down at his knees. “No, Santa, I have,” he whispers.

Santa Claus crouches down, so that he’s at eye level with Harry. “Well, Harry, my boy. Let Santa tell you a little secret. He secretly thought that was absolutely brilliant. It’s the hardest he’s laughed all year! He brought an extra gift just for that prank alone,” he adds with a whisper.

Harry’s face lights up like a Christmas tree as he breaks out into a huge grin, eyes shining. James is glaring at Santa Claus with a look that would surely put him on the naughty list. Remus just shakes his head, laughing. Santa’s sparkling grey eyes meet his, and Santa Claus winks at him.

Lily had the right idea raising Harry with the muggle tradition of Santa Claus. Their whole world is of course magical, but seeing Harry all engrossed in the story of Santa Claus, elves and flying reindeers just adds a whole different type of magic.

James had the right idea asking Sirius to be Santa Claus. With his natural charm and his humor, it’s like he’s made to do this. Remus is also quite impressed with the Beard Growing Charm he used, and he managed change the color of his long hair to the exact same shade of white as the beard. A Santa suit, big, black boots and a Santa hat complete the picture.

Remus leans against the doorpost as he watches Santa Sirius collect pieces of wrapping paper in his bag, which Harry, in all his excitement, flung all around the room. Lily and James are in the kitchen talking and Harry is upstairs getting ready for bed, although Remus doubts whether he’ll fall asleep anytime soon after the excitement of the evening.

“If you ever get tired of being a Healer, you could always go and do this for a living.”

Sirius turns around an smiles. “Would you move to the North-Pole with me then?”

“You’d know I’d go anywhere if it’s with you,” Remus says without thinking. He blushes, but what does it matter? It’s true, right?

A rare softness appears in Sirius’ eyes as he stares at Remus.

It’s kind of odd feeling this attracted to Santa Claus, Remus thinks, but he still has that handsome face and those beautiful light eyes, and he guesses it’s a good thing he’ll still be attracted to Sirius once he’s a bearded old man.

“Come here.” Sirius takes his hand and pulls him towards him.

Remus feels a flutter in his stomach as Sirius wraps his arms around his waist. It’s amazing to Remus how someone he has known for years, someone who knows him through and through, someone who’s as safe and comfortable as home, can feel so new and exciting at the same time.

Sirius’ eyes flicker to the ceiling. “Mistletoe,” he says.

After years of increasingly close friendship, ever growing feelings, intimate conversations, fear and longing, Sirius and Remus finally decided to take the plunge and started dating few weeks ago. They haven’t told anyone yet. They wanted to take their time figuring out together how to go from friends to lovers, and it feel nice to have it to themselves for a while.

Remus glances back to the kitchen, where he can still hear Lily and James happily chatting, so he pulls Sirius’ head down and firmly kisses him on the lips.

“Is Padfoot still here?” James asks as Remus walks into the kitchen. He’s leaning against the kitchen counter, while Lily sits at the kitchen table drinking tea.

“No, he went home to change his clothes and try to charm that beard off,” Remus says, as he also sits down at the kitchen table and pours himself a cup of tea. “He’ll be back soon, though.”

“Good,” Lily says. “I really have to properly thank him. Harry had the evening of his life! Though we really can’t spoil him like that every year,” she adds, shaking her head. “He’ll be as bratty as his cousin!”

“Don’t worry, Lily,” Remus says. “I promise I’ll host an intervention if you ever buy him thirty-eight birthday presents.”

Lily throws him a grateful look, but before anyone else can say anything, Harry comes bursting into the kitchen. Bewildered, he looks around. The moment he spots his dad standing at the kitchen counter, he flings himself at him, clutching his legs.

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

James places a hand on top of his son’s messy head of hair. “Harry? Harry, darling, what’s wrong?”

Harry looks up at his dad with wide eyes. “I saw uncle Moony kissing Santa Claus!”

Remus chokes on his tea, and starts coughing. He flushes bright red and keeps his gaze fixed on the table, but he can feel both Lily’s and James’ eyes on him.

“I… ehm, that’s… you… What?” James says in unfeigned surprise.

“I did, daddy,” Harry says intently. “I really did!”

It vaguely occurs to Remus that he could deny, but he’d never falsely accuse a four-year old of lying in front of his parents.

“It was a real kiss!” Harry continues. “The kind you give mummy when you think I can’t see, but then sometimes I do see and tell you that you’re being gross?”%

Remus wonders how the real estate is on the North-Pole.

“Ah,” James says faintly, shifting his gaze from Harry to Remus and back to Harry. “Well, you see, Harry,” he starts, 1while running a hand through his hair. “Uncle Moony is very good friends with Santa Claus, and they like each other very much. Sometimes when people like each other that much, they give each other a kiss, you understand?”

Harry gapes at Remus, eyes filled with admiration. “Friends with Santa Clause,” he whispers. “Wow.” Then he bounces up and down in excitement. “Uncle Moony, can you take me to Santa’s workshop to meet the elves?”

“Well…” Remus scrapes his throat. “We’ll have to see about that. He’s quite a… private person, you know?”

“C’mon, Harry,” James says, taking his son by the hand. “Let’s go upstairs for a bedtime story.”

“Story! Story!” Harry shouts, while he immediately starts dragging his dad towards the stairs. “I want to hear the one with Sir Luckless and the fountain!”

James throws one last look at Remus, raising a questioning eyebrow, before following Harry upstairs.

Lily slowly drinks her tea before putting her mug down, all the while never taking her eyes off Remus. Remus shifts uncomfortably in his chair, as Lily leans forward, resting her head on her hands.

“So,” she eventually speaks. “Santa Claus, huh? Never knew you had a thing for older men.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the title, the fic wrote itself.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	10. Cheesy Hallmark Christmas Movies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus Lupin's life is not a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie, thank you very much.

> **It always leads to you in my hometown**
> 
> _'Tis the damn season - Taylor Swift_

_Welcome to Godric’s Hollow! Happy Holidays!_

The sign is placed next to the road leading into the town. Remus slows down as he drives his car into the town’s center, with people bustling around. The old bookshop, still run by the same old lady, and the cozy cafe, owned by a friendly elderly couple, are excessively decorated with Christmas trees, garlands, various ornaments and lights. The lady from the bakery is handing out Christmas cookies in front of her store for people to taste. A sturdy old man is selling Christmas trees on the corner, with help from his good-looking son. On the town square, a subtly decorated arbor and an enormous Christmas tree are placed. A choir is caroling, and people are crossing the street to whish each other happy holidays.

As Remus pulls up to Lily and James’ house and spots the lights and fake snow and reindeers in the yard, he immediately knows something is off, as Lily would never voluntarily change her front yard into such a monstrosity. Actually, he knew something had been off when James had called him. He had started the conversation with excessive coughing. His story was that he and Lily both had a terrible cold, while Harry had no school because of the Christmas break and they had all these fun holiday traditions planned. They needed Remus to come to Godric’s Hollow for Christmas, so he could go and do all these fun activities with Harry and the boy wouldn’t be disappointed. He had emphasized that he and Lily were the exact right amount of sick that they couldn’t go themselves, but not so sick that Remus should worry. James didn’t cough anymore for the rest of the conversation, until Remus remarked upon that, and he promptly started coughing again.

Remus grew up in Godric’s Hollow and has been friends with Lily and James since they attended Godric’s High together. After high school, Lily and James had settled down in their old hometown, bought one of those large wooden houses with a garden and a porch, got married, adopted a cat and had a son. Remus, on the other hand, had been anxious to get out of his small hometown. He moved to London to study journalism, and now has an important and demanding job as an editor for a large magazine.

It’s not that he disliked Godric’s Hollow. He had many precious memories of the place, and was actually quite fond of the town. He still considered his high school years as some of the best years of his life. Figuring out who he was, learning new things, making real friends, getting in trouble too many times, falling in love for the first time, he had experienced everything that growing up and being a teenager involved. Sometimes, when he thought back to his high school years he could hardly believe that had really been him: liked by everyone, friends with the most popular kids in school, dating the hottest guy in school. It had been better than he could’ve imagined, but afterwards, he had just been aching for a new challenge.

As Remus walks through the door, because, yes, Godric’s Hollow is one of those places people don’t find it necessary to lock their doors, his suspicion only grows. The inside is as lavishly decorated as the outside.

“Lily? James? Harry?” Remus calls out. He walks further into the house and stops in his tracks.

Lily and James and Harry are in the kitchen, wearing _matching ugly Christmas sweaters_ , while _decorating gingerbread houses_.

Upon seeing his uncle Remus walk in, Harry dashes away from his parents and hugs Remus’ legs.

“Uncle Remus! I’m so happy you’re here! I was afraid you were gonna be too busy with your important job in the big city to come and spend Christmas with us.”

It sounds… rehearsed. And Harry keeps glancing back to his dad, who nods encouragingly. Absentmindedly, Remus pats Harry’s hair.

“What are you talking about?” He mutters. “We saw each other last week. You stayed over for the weekend.”

He looks up at Lily and James, and Lily gives him their trademark ‘I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m just going with it’-look, that Remus and Lily perfected in their senior year, when Lily had started dating James, and Remus was dating James’ best friend.

Yes, normally when something this fishy is going on, Remus would think it has something to do with-

“Hello Remus! What a surprise to see you here!”

Remus slowly turns around towards the voice and there he is, leaning against the doorpost with a crooked smile: Sirius Black. Another one of Remus’ high school friends, the most popular guy in school and high school heartthrob, Remus’ first boyfriend, high school sweetheart and first love of his life. Not that there had been any others after.

When Remus went to London, Sirius had bought a motorbike and left to travel the world. He still looks ungodly handsome. His long hair is braided and hangs over one shoulder. He’s not wearing an ugly Christmas sweater, but a tight button-down, hugging is long, slender form, though he is wearing a hideous tie with a pattern of tiny snowmen.

“A surprise indeed,” Remus says. “Especially since I just _had to_ come here so Harry had someone to spend time with, since Lily and James were _so sick_ ,” he adds, with a look in Lily and James’ direction.

James runs a hand through his hair. “Eh, well, you see… We had this cold…”

From the corner of his eyes, Remus can see Sirius shake his head.

“No, wait. Right, I remember!” James quickly says. “Sirius was going to spend Christmas with his brother, but he had to leave for a business trip last-minute, so Sirius came here as a surprise.”

“Yes,” Sirius says. “And when they knew I was going to be here, you were already on your way.”

“Well, since you are here, I guess I can go back to London and work on some articles as I had planned,” Remus says. “Besides, it looks like Lily and James are doing much better.”

James promptly starts coughing again. Lily rolls her eyes and Sirius glares at him, then turns back to Remus.

“You can’t leave! Harry has gotten all excited to have both his uncles here to take him to the Christmas tree farm, the ice skate rink and the Christmas cookie baking competition. He’ll be heartbroken if you leave.”

Remus looks over at Harry, who’s currently trying to fit an entire chimney in his mouth, and doesn’t seem to be paying much attention to what’s going on.

Remus raises an eyebrow. “Heartbroken indeed.”

Lily lifts Harry up in her arms. “Why don’t you two catch up, while we go caroling around the Christmas tree or roast chestnuts on an open fire, or whatever we’re supposed to do.”

“But mummy, I wanna watch tv!”

“I know, Harry, I know…”

“So,” Sirius says, smiling, as he walks towards Remus. “Looks like you and me-”

“No, Sirius. No.” Remus crosses his arms over his chest.

Sirius stops, taken aback.

“We’re not doing this!” Remus says firmly.

Sirius blinks innocently at him. “Doing what?”

“This thing!”

“Why, Remus, what thing do you mean?”

“You know damn well what thing I mean!” Remus scolds. “This whole ‘carreer-focussed person from the big city is forced to go to his small hometown for the holidays where the magic of Christmas helps him rekindle with his ex’ cheesy Christmas movie plot-thing!”

“But Remus,” Sirius pouts.

Remus shakes his head. “For the love of god, Sirius. If you wanted to see me, couldn’t you just have picked up the phone?”

Sirius grins unashamed. “Where would’ve been the fun in that, Remmie?”

Remus rolls his eyes. “It would’ve saved you the trouble of orchestrating an entire Hallmark Christmas movie!”

“That was quite some work,” Sirius admits. “And I was working with amateurs! I almost fired Lily, James and Harry and replaced them with professional actors.”

“I honestly think I would’ve noticed, Sirius.” Remus tries to sound exasperated, but he can hardly suppress a smile. “But god, you know that normal people who miss their ex at Christmas just get drunk on Christmas Eve and send them a ‘hey, how are you?’ text message?”

“That wouldn’t have worked!” Sirius argues. “I analyses the movies, and you need an average of two to six days of exposure to small town Christmas magic to fall back in love with me.”

“How many Christmas movies did you watch?”

A haunted look appears in Sirius’ eyes. “So many, Remus. So, so many.”

“If you hadn’t been living in the Hallmark universe,” Remus says. “It might have occurred to you that maybe I don’t need exposure to bloody Christmas magic to realize that I made a mistake and never should’ve broken up with you.”

“Really?” Sirius’ face lights up in a mixture of happiness and surprise, like he didn’t think his plan would actually work and now allows himself to hope for the first time. Then he frowns. “You never picked up the phone either!”

Remus huffs. “I thought you’d still be made about the whole breaking up with you-thing!”

“Nah.” Sirius makes a dismissive gesture. “You were right. We were too young, we wanted different things in life, and we’d only ever been with each other and needed to experience new things,” he says, echoing the exact speech Remus gave him when he broke up with him all those years ago.

“Yeah, well,” Remus says, not looking Sirius in the eyes. “Turns out new experiences don’t really compare to you.”

Sirius looks at him with such a soft, open expression that Remus really does feel like he’s sixteen again and has just agreed to go to prom with him.

Then something occurs to Remus and he narrows his eyes. “As long as you don’t expect me to give up my career to move to a small town with you and become a music teacher at the local school for poor, sick, ridiculously talented orphans who never had a real Christmas or some shite like that! I like living in the city and I like my career.”

“God no!” Sirius quickly says. “I’ve been back here for three days, and honestly, this place is giving me the creeps. It’s so quiet here! I never knew waking up to the chirping of birds could be so annoying. And it’s like everyone knows you. Strangers greet you on the street. Strangers, Remus, strangers! And they’re always smiling. Why are they always smiling, Remus? Why?” Sirius shudders. “I want to be in a cramped flat somewhere in London where I wake up to the sshouting of taxi drivers and yelling of neighbors, where strangers look at you like they’re gonna call the police when you try to greet them, and where I can stumble into a coffee shop at six in the morning after a night without sleep and order three shots of espresso without any judgment in the comforting bliss of perfect anonymity.”

Remus grabs Sirius by that hideous tie and pulls him down into a kiss, because they’re not too young anymore, they don’t want different things in life anymore, and new experiences are overrated, and isn’t that just wonderful?

“Oi!”

Sirius and Remus break apart to look at James, who’s staring at them with his hands on his hips.

I thought this,” he gestures between Sirius and Remus. “Wasn’t supposed to happen until Remus’ last night in Godric’s Hollow at the Godric’s High Winter Dance that I would sign you up for as volunteers, when you finally have a chance to dance together and suddenly, there’s a mistletoe above your heads?”

Remus pokes Sirius. “I’m not going to use my leave days volunteering for a bloody high school dance!”

Lily appears and sees Sirius and Remus standing close together, Sirius with a hand still on Remus’ waist and Remus with a hand still in Sirius’ neck.

“Oh, thank god,” she says, pulling off the Christmas sweater. “Can we quit this crap now?” She takes her son’s hand. “Come on, Harry. Let’s go watch tv.”

James follows them to the living room. “What are we going to do with all those chestnuts?”

Remus turns his attention back to Sirius.

Sirius worriedly bites his lip. “I don’t think I can still get us out of volunteering for the toy drive to give poor, sick orphans a real Christmas, though…”

“Sirius!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I relate to Sirius’ obsession with cheesy Christmas movies in this one...  
> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	11. Christmas Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and James want a romantic Christmas and find out they're not the only ones.

> **Snuggled up together like two birds of a feather**
> 
> _Sleigh ride - The Ronettes_

Lily drums her fingers nervously on the container holding the freshly baked Christmas cookies. “You sure he likes these, right?”

James shrugs. “They’re cookies. What’s not to like?”

Lily gives him a stern look. “The point is for him to be able to tell that we’ve put some thought into it.”

“Lils,” James sighs. “I’ve told you a hundred times, he doesn’t mind. He’s not feeling neglected.”

“But he’s your brother!” Lily says anxiously. “You’ve been celebrating Christmas together since you were eleven. I don’t want him to think that then I came along and suddenly everything’s different. Like I’m the type of girlfriend who steals his brother away.”

“It’s not like he’s just met you!” James says with a laugh. “He has known you since you were eleven as well.”

“But not as your girlfriend!” Lily counters.

James puts an arm around her shoulder. “Lily, love, he likes you. And you finally having succumbed to my charm is not going to change anything.”

Lily looks down at her hands. “It’s just… he has already been cast out of a family once. I don’t want him to feel like he’s any less than a part of ours.”

“And you think I’d ever allow Padfoot to feel like that?” James shakes his head. “He said he had already expected it when I told him we wanted to have a romantic Christmas with just the two of us for our first Christmas as a couple. I promise you, Lily, he was fine.”

“Right, but you also thought I was fine when you canceled our date to watch that Quidditch match.”

James huffs. “Well, excuse me for being the type of person who assumes, when someone tells them they’re fine, that it means they’re fine!”

“I’d just feel a lot better if we just quickly drop by and can see for myself he’s alright. And bringing cookies can never hurt!” Lily adds.

James tries to resist the urge to roll his eyes. He does anyway. He wasn’t trying very hard. But in all honesty, he thinks it’s really sweet Lily cares so much about not stealing him away from Sirius.

“But we’ll make it a quick visit! Otherwise we might as well have celebrated Christmas together after all. Wish him a merry Christmas, drop off the cookies, and maybe drink a glass of mead,” James says. “Besides, Moony will probably be there as well. Padfoot said he’ll ask him over, have some butterbeers, order takeout. It sounded pretty nice actually. I was almost bummed I couldn’t join.”

Lily glares at him.

“Almost I said!”

They enter Sirius’ flat, as James comes and goes at Sirius’ just like Sirius comes and goes at James and Lily’s, and they immediately head for the living room.

They stop in their tracks.

Sirius and Remus are lying on the couch. Well, Remus is lying on the couch. Sirius is lying on Remus. Sirius’ hands disappear under Remus’ sweater, and he’s nuzzling Remus’ neck. Remus is smiling against Sirius’ hair. A carefree, happy smile, that you rarely see on him. Remus has one hand low on Sirius’ hip, and the other is treading through his hair.

James can only stare. _Well_ , he thinks vaguely. _At least we didn’t walk in on them shagging. Oh Merlin, are they shagging?_

At that moment, Remus, still oblivious to the intruders, whispers something in Sirius’ ear, after which Sirius slightly lifts up his head to look at him with a fond smile. Remus leans in to press a kiss against his lips.

Now James almost whishes they _had_ walked in on them shagging, as this somehow seems more intimate.

Remus’ eyes suddenly flicker up and he sees Lily and James standing there, frozen in shock, Lily clenching the container with the cookies in her hands. Startled, he jumps up, sending Sirius toppling to the floor with a loud thud.

“Oef! What the-”

Then Sirius sees Lily and James as well.

“Oh. Wotcher, Prongs.”

Lily shakes herself out of her stupor first. “We should leave, we should leave,” she whispers, tugging at James’ sleeve.

“What is this?” James asks, ignoring her.

Remus has a look of panic in his eyes, and does what he does when anxious: he starts rambling.

“It’s not what you think! I mean, it’s nothing. Well, nothing definable. It only happened very recently. We haven’t been hiding it from you! Not really. It’s just that, we don’t know what it is ourselves. We just… went with it? I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t apologize, it’s fine,” Lily murmurs weakly.

“No!” James says with a frown. “We’re a close-knitted group of friends! Just impulsively doing things like this,” he gestures between Remus, standing in front of the couch looking like he wants to disappear, and Sirius, still sitting on the floor, “can severely complicate or even ruin a friendship!”

“James!” Lily hisses.

“Oh, bugger off, Prongs!” Sirius says. “When you started hooking up with Lily, we never gave you any shite about it!”

“I did not start ‘hooking up’ with Lily until I was absolutely certain I was going to marry her one day and it would be forever.”

“Exactly!” Sirius replies, which is followed by a stunned silence.

Remus whirls his head around to stare at Sirius. “You mean you’d want to… You think this is…”

Sirius groans, his cheeks slightly pink. “Yelling it at Prongs in front of you was not how I wanted to go about it, but yes, I wanted to ask you tonight if you’d want to make things between us official.” Sirius runs a hand through his hair, and he suddenly looks nervous. “I know we haven’t talked about it, and there’s really no pressure. I don’t even expect you to say yes, but I thought I might as well try. I know it’s too much too soon, and I don’t deserve you anyway… Feel free to reject me. Well, maybe wait for Lily and Prongs to leave-”

Remus cuts him off by dropping to the floor in front of Sirius, taking his head in both hands, and kissing him. “Yes, Merlin, yes. You gorgeous, daft, wonderful man. Of course I want to. I’m yours, Sirius Black, yours.”

James is pretty sure that the dopey smile he sees on Lily’s face looks similar to the one on his own. He can feel all his hesitancy melt away upon witnessing that pure moment. The smiles on his friends’ faces are blinding, and they don’t seem to be seeing anyone else but each other, don’t seem to notice there’s anyone else in the room, or in the world for that matter.

How come they never saw how perfect they are for each other?

“Come on,” Lily whispers in his ear. “Time for that romantic first Christmas as a couple.”

James thinks she’s not talking about their Christmas anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment! As a Christmas gift, haha.  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	12. Wrapping Paper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius doesn't seem to realise how messed up his memories of Christmas with his family are. Remus wants to give him a new family, but not as a brother.

> **Try to imagine a house that's not a home**
> 
> _Lonely this Christmas - Mud_

“Is there a nicer view than wrapped Christmas presents lying under a Christmas tree?”

Mary rests her head on her hands, and stares at the pile of gifts underneath the tree with a dreamy expression on her face. The common room is softly lit by the glow of the fireplace. “All the colors, patterns, and bows! Such a lovely sight.”

“Honestly, I just wanna tear them open,” Marlene says.

Several people laugh, but Remus shakes his head. “I don’t know, I kind of agree with Mary. It brings back warm childhood memories, gifts underneath a tree.”

At the words ‘warm childhood memories’ James immediately gets a sappy look on his face.

Sirius huffs. “Careful. If you like the wrapping paper that much, the gifts can only disappoint.”

“A gift can never disappoint!” Mary gasps in shock. “Someone took the effort to get you something.”

Lily rolls her eyes. “You obviously don’t have a sister who gave you your own sweater back for Christmas, with holes in it!”

“I got angry when my parents gave me a book about brooms, instead of an actual broom, when I was eight years old,” James says. Then he frowns. “I guess I was kind of a spoiled brat back then.”

“Back then?” Lily, Sirius and Remus reply in unison.

James sighs. “I was asking for that one.”

“No parents get their child a broom for Christmas!” Dorcas says. “That’s way too much for a gift.”

“My brother got a broom for Christmas when he made the Slytherin Quidditch team,” Sirius says. “That was pretty rad.”

Dorcas raises an eyebrow. “I stand corrected. No _normal_ parents get their child a broom for Christmas.”

Peter snickers. “What did you get when you made the Quidditch team then, Padfoot?”

“A Howler,” Sirius replies dryly. “Shouting about how I was already a disgrace for being a Gryffindor, and just had to go and flaunt it by flying around in Gryffindor colors.” Sirius barks out a laugh, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He stops when he notices none of the others is laughing with him.

He must’ve been thirteen at the time, Remus thinks. He imagines the young, bright-eyed boy waiting for his Christmas gift, but receiving only a scolding Howler.

Sirius, who was going for a funny story and obviously didn’t want to make the atmosphere so charged, awkwardly runs a hand through his hair. “I mean, it’s honestly not so bad. They just have an obsession with their own Slytherin house colors.” He lets out another laugh. “My first Christmas after I was sorted into Gryffindor was actually really funny. They gave me notebooks, socks, a scarf, all green and silver, just to spite me. I tossed the lot in the fireplace right in front of them.”

Marlene frowns. “How is giving an eleven-year-old a gift ‘just to spite him’ funny?”

“Ah, no,” Sirius says. “I mean you should’ve seen the look on their faces when I threw it in the fireplace! It was priceless. Even Regulus couldn’t hold back a grin. It was totally worth it, even with being locked in the basement for the rest of Christmas.”

Sirius starts laughing again, but while last time everyone had felt a bit wary, now, they’re straight up horrified, staring at him in disbelief.

Sirius starts nervously fiddling with a loose strand of hair. Remus whishes he had the courage to take Sirius’ hand in his and give it a reassuring squeeze.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Sirius mumbles. “I had my wand, could make some light, cast a Heating Charm, and thanks to the Bogart my Riddikulus got really good!”

Mary gives him a wide-eyed look. “They locked you in the basement? During Christmas? With a _Bogart_?”

“It sounds really bad when you say it like that,” Sirius mutters.

“And how else should we say it, do you suggest?” James asks through gritted teeth.

He sounds like Remus feels: angry. Like he wants to punch someone. Preferably Orion Black.

Sirius is shaking his head. “Forget I said anything. It’s supposed to be a happy evening!”

Remus tries to think of something to say to change the subject, as Sirius obviously does not feel comfortable talking about it. He and James can try to speak to him later when they’re alone.

Peter, unfortunately, has no such tact. “Did your parents _ever_ gave you a decent gift?”

Sirius seems to be wrecking his brain, his eyes shifting nervously over his friends’ faces. “They… they… Oh, I know! They gave me this ring once, with our family weapon engraved in it. I mean, it was an ugly, kitschy thing, but as they always seem ashamed I’m part of the family, it was a meaningful gesture to me that they wanted me to represent the family.”

Remus gives Sirius an understanding, soft smile, but James frowns. “I’ve never seen you wear such a thing!”

Sirius mutters something unintelligible.

“What was that?”

Sirius sighs. “It turned out to be cursed. Not a very bad curse!” He quickly adds. “After I put it on my finger, I found out my father could use it to punish me when, in his eyes, I was misbehaving. It could send this sharp, stinging pain through my arm. After a week, I almost couldn’t feel my arm anymore, so I guess it didn’t lessen my ‘misbehavior’,” he adds with a bitter laugh. “It wasn’t even a very impressive curse, though. Didn’t take me much longer than a week to break it and get the ring of my finger.”

“You’ve never told us any of this!” Remus says.

A look of guilt appears in Sirius’ eyes. “I thought you’d make fun of me for wearing such a thing in the first place. And I felt stupid for falling for it. I was afraid you’d laugh at me.”

“Padfoot,” Remus says disbelievingly. “You thought your parents cared enough to give you a meaningful gift, only to find out they had deceived you to cause you actual physical pain. I can’t think of anything less funny than that.”

“Yeah mate,” Peter says. “That’s definitely not an example of a decent gift. That’s got to be the worse gift ever!”

Sirius smiles weakly. “Don’t worry, Pete. I’ve had worse.”

“Worse?” Lily exclaims, before she can help it.

“The worst must be that book they gave me, detailing the entire history of The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black,” Sirius says, rolling his eyes. “Dreadfully boring.”

James gives him a doubtful look. “That does sound… lame.”

Remus can tell they’re all thinking the same thing: sure, it’s not an entertaining gift, but worse than a Howler? Worse than a cursed ring?

“Lame indeed,” Sirius agrees. “I tried, but I just couldn’t focus on it, even locked in my room without any distractions. I really tried, of course I did. I knew the consequences if I’d fail. But when my father would come to my room in the evening to question me on that day’s chapter, I’d always make some mistakes, and for each mistake my father would-”

Sirius abruptly stops talking and blinks, only now seeming to realize what he was saying, in front of all his friends. He flushes bright red, and nervously runs his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go on and on about my silly childhood memories. I mean, it’s just Christmas presents, it doesn’t even matter. Every family probably has-”

James cuts him off by wrapping both his arms tightly around Sirius and pulling him against him.

“That’s it! That’s just it! You’re never going to spent Christmas with those people again, you hear me? Never! They’re not your family anymore.”

“Prongs, I can’t-”

“No, Padfoot! They’ve had their chance, and they blew it. They don’t deserve you. You’re my family now. I officially declare you my brother!”

“I don’t think it works like that…”

“It does when I say it does!”

“Yes, Padfoot,” Peter chimes in. “You don’t need them when you’ve got The Marauders as your family! Your my brother too!”

They all look expectantly at Remus.

Remus swallows, his throat suddenly dry. Of course, Sirius feels like home, he’s comfortable, safe, warm, and Remus would do anything for him. He loves Sirius to bits, he’s just not sure he’d describe it as brotherly love... He’s had thoughts about Sirius he’s pretty sure you’re not supposed to have about a brother.

“I…” Remus says hesitantly. “I care about you very much as well.” Remus inwardly cringes at how lame he sounds.

Sirius just blinks at him curiously, but is quickly distracted by James elaborating on how his mum is going to spoil him when she hears she now has another son. It’s not long before Sirius is crying on James’ shoulder, and the others discretely excuse themselves to give The Marauders some privacy.

“Moony? Moony? Moooony? Moony!”

“Hmm, wha-?” Remus sleepily sits up and rubs his eyes, staring at the other side of his four-poster bed.

Sirius is sitting cross-legged in front of him, intently staring. The memories of the evening come flooding back to Remus, and he sits up straighter.

“Are you okay?” He asks in concern.

“You didn’t call me your brother.”

“Ah,” Remus replies, fidgeting with the sleeve of his pajamas. “Did you… did you want me to?”

“No,” Sirius replies slowly. “But that’s what I don’t get. I felt so happy hearing James call me his brother, and then Pete, but when we were all looking at you… Well, I didn’t like the idea of being like a brother to you at all!”

“Sirius…”

“I’m not trying to be mean! I’m absolutely certain I don’t like you any less than I like Prongs or Wormtail.”

“Sirius.”

“It just confuses me, you know? I don’t get why Prongs calling me his brother felt heartwarming, but the idea of you calling me your brother felt heart-wrenching.”

“Sirius!”

Remus places his hands on either side of Sirius’ face and kisses him. When he pulls away, Sirius blinks at him, and Remus can practically see him put the pieces together.

Then a huge smile appears on Sirius’ face. “Wow, it all makes so much more sense now!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	13. New Year's Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot has happened during the war, too much, and Remus hasn't spoken to Sirius in years. They run into each other at a New Year’s Eve party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last one!  
> We're ending with a New Year fic!  
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you all had a lovely December month!

> **Here we are, me and you, feeling lost and feeling blue**
> 
> _Happy New Year - Abba_

“I hadn’t expected you to be here.”

Remus doesn’t look up at the sound of the voice. He doesn’t have to, he knows very well who that voice belongs to.

Truthfully, he hadn’t wanted to come. He hates parties like these, bustling with people he doesn’t know, but who all have an opinion about him. Half of them doesn’t speak to him with him being a werewolf, and for the half that does speak to him, he would’ve preferred if they didn’t. Much too often, they ask him how he’d excuse Fenrir Greyback’s behavior, like that’s something he’d want to do, like he’s somehow responsible for Greyback’s actions.

But besides the obnoxious questions, his main reason for not wanting to come to the New Year’s Eve party was running the risk of seeing him. Quite a high risk. Order members are of course invited to every big event.

When the Wizarding War had ended just a couple of years ago, the world was looking for something to hold on to, to look up to, to give them hope. When word spread about the existence of The Order of the Phoenix, a group of brave, young and skilled witches and wizards who had risked their lives fighting evil, like something out of an adventure novel, the whole magical community was intrigued, and each Order member had instantly become a celebrity.

Remus had been able to stay out of the public eye most. He was known as ‘the werewolf-one’, and there was never much interest in him. Sure, he was a war hero, but apparently being a lycanthrope outweighed even that. Remus would’ve been happy to be forgotten, but he felt a sort of responsibility to other werewolves like him. He was the only werewolf known to have fought against the Death-Eaters. Without him, the only example would be Greyback, and who would oppose stricter legislation then? So Remus forces himself to attend these sort of events from time to time.

Journalists rarely ask Remus questions and if they do, it’s mostly about his fellow Order members: Lily and James’ relationship secrets, as they’re the century’s power couple, or Marlene McKinnon’s love life, which is always guaranteed to sell tabloids. But most of all, they want to know about Sirius Black.

The Wizarding World might be intrigued with the other Order members, but when it comes to Sirius Black, the only suitable word is _obsessed_. He has everything a storybook hero needs. For one, his deeds during the war are unparalleled. His acts of bravery saved the lives of Lily and James and baby Harry, and he personally gave Dumbledore the information he needed to finally defeat He Who Must Not Be Named. Then there’s the fact that he’s the young, single and rich heir to the Black family fortune, with the perfect tragic backstory to excite sympathy, being raised in an abusive home and breaking away from his blood supremacist-family at sixteen. And, of course, the man is bloody gorgeous, with his tall, lean build and the contrast between his dark, long hair and light, silver-gray eyes. Journalists follow him around everywhere, his face is on the cover of Witch Weekly more often then not and young witches and wizards have his poster above their beds. You cannot walk the streets without seeing Sirius’ face somewhere, or hear someone mention his name.

“Do you remember me?” The voice asks, when Remus has stayed silent for too long.

Incredulously, Remus turns his head around. “Are you serious-”

Remus stops talking and groans when he sees the crooked grin.

“So you do remember me!” Sirius says. He looks impeccable as always, with his hair tied back in a ponytail and wearing fitted dress robes. “How’ve you been?”

Tired, lonely, pathetic, sad, messed up, weary, Remus thinks.

“Getting by,” Remus says. “You?”

“The same,” Sirius replies.

“Oh, piss off.” Remus has said it before thinking.

Sirius just raises an eyebrow.

“Like your life has anything to do with ‘getting by’,” Remus reluctantly explains. “Being a beloved, rich and famous war hero.”

“Right,” Sirius says. ‘Because money and fame are of course all you need in life.”

Remus doesn’t reply and another silence falls between them.

“I’m a terribly selfish person,” Sirius suddenly says.

Remus follows his gaze. He’s looking at James, who’s dancing with Lily, while Harry is sitting in his neck, Lily reaching up and holding Harry’s hands instead of James’.

“Why?” Remus asks. “They’re alive because of you. Shouldn’t it make you feel like the bloody war hero you are? Why would you feel selfish?”

“Because I sometimes wish I’d never done it.”

Remus swallows. He doesn’t know what to say.

“I mean,” Sirius continues. “If I had known what the consequences would be, I don’t think I would’ve done it.”

“I can imagine it was a traumatizing experience,” Remus says hesitantly. “To pretend you had become the very thing you’ve always despised, a pureblood who followed He Who Must Not Be Named for his own benefit. To be confronted with the family you tried so hard to escape. Not to mention the fear you must’ve felt knowing that if they even suspected you were passing on information to Dumbledore you would’ve been killed in an instant…”

“I don’t care about the trauma or fear,” Sirius says in a firm voice.

“Then why…”

“I mean you, Moony!” Sirius shouts, and Remus snaps his mouth shut, eyes widening. “If I had known that by pretending to switch allegiants and infiltrating the Death-Eaters I would lose you forever, I don’t think I would’ve, or even could’ve, done it.”

“You know it’s not what you did that I can’t move past,” Remus says in a tight voice. “It’s that you didn’t tell me.”

“To make it as believable as possible it was better to not tell anyone else.”

“Is that what I was to you? Like anyone else?”

“Of course not. You don’t understand, Moony.”

“ _You_ don’t understand!” Remus snaps. “You have no idea, Sirius, no idea! You broke me. I thought I lost you. No, worse, that I actually never even had you. There were moments I wanted to _die_ , Sirius. One word would’ve been enough. Just one word to let me know it wasn’t real. One message, one note, one whisper…”

“Dumbledore ordered Lily, James and I not to tell anyone.”

“I’ve been on plenty of missions where I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone, but I never included you in that! You were a part of me. What I knew, you knew. I thought it was the same for you, but I guess I was wrong.”

“I was the Secret Keeper. Lily and James’ lives, Harry’s life, were at stake. We couldn’t afford to take any risks.”

“I would’ve never told anyone!”

“Exactly!” Sirius says. “You would’ve made sure there was no chance of you ever telling the secret. If there had even been the slightest possibility of them using Veritaserum or the Imperius Curse on you, you would’ve killed yourself before they had the chance. I couldn’t let that happen.”

Remus clenches his jaw. “If you would’ve given me the choice between being safer and not knowing or being in more danger and knowing, I would’ve chosen the latter!”

“But I wouldn’t!” Sirius looks at Remus intently for a moment, then he lets out a mirthless chuckle. “Didn’t I tell you I’m a selfish person? I’ve always been. The whole thing wouldn’t have worked if I wasn’t. That’s what made it so easy to believe that I was a traitor, what made it so easy for all of you to hate me.”

Remus takes a sharp breath, but says nothing. When he turns to look at Sirius, there’s an infinitely sad expression in his eyes.

“It was nice to see you, Remus.”

He gives Remus a last, small smile, before turning around and walking away.

People are collecting champagne glasses and forming groups. It can’t be long till midnight. The evening has been a haze, Remus’ mind clouded with Sirius Black.

Clichés are flying around like Snitches now. ‘New year, new chances!’ ‘Time for new beginnings in the new year!’ ‘Let go of the past and focus on the future!’

Oh, screw it, Remus thinks, as he grabs a glass of champagne from a tray, drowns it in one gulp, and stalks over to where Sirius is standing. He pushes through the crowd of admirers that always seems to surround him, drawn to his light like moths to a flame.

“It wasn’t, you know!” He says loudly when he reaches Sirius.

Sirius turns around with a surprised expression. “I’m sorry?”

“Easy to believe you were a traitor,” Remus clarifies. “It wasn’t. Every minute of every day I told myself it had all been a lie, it was never real, I never even really knew you. After months and months, my heart still did not contain the hate I wanted to feel for you. There was only a knife stabbing into it. And I felt so guilty. The person I thought you had become, no, the person I thought you had secretly always been, and I still bloody cared! The only one I hated was myself. So don’t you dare, Sirius Black, _don’t you fucking dare_ tell me that it’s easy to hate you when it’s the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do!”

Remus’ voice breaks towards the end. Sirius is staring at him with silent tears streaming down his face.

“And now,” Remus says through the lump in his throat. “Now that I’m finally figuring out how to function on my own, now that I can finally bear the mention of your name without wanting to rip my heart out, a stupid pun and a crooked smile are enough to make it all come crumbling down again.”

Remus shakes his head. “I’m tired, Sirius,” he says, lowering his voice. “Tired of trying to hate you.”

“Then don’t,” Sirius whispers. “Even I am not arrogant enough to believe I deserve you, but I am selfish enough to still want you. Give us one more chance, Moony. After all, both of us have got nothing to lose, but so much to win.”

Remus looks at him for a moment, then grabs his face and kisses him. Somewhere, the clock strikes twelve.

“Happy New Year,” Remus whispers against Sirius’ lips, and for the first time in a long time, he believes it might actually be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed your Holidays very much, and I hope these fics gave you some joy!
> 
> I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


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